I See Fire
by obeytherandomness
Summary: Bilbo knew when he was young that the song he liked to sing meant something important, but it wasn't until 13 dwarves came crashing into his little hobbit hole that he actually remembered why it was so important. He remembers everything else on the journey to his long lost home. Thilbo and FilixKili
1. Chapter 1

AN: I do not own anything from the book or the movie.

I just wanted to tell you guys two things before I start with the story:

1. This was originally meant to be a oneshot, but by the end of this chapter I knew there was no way that was going to happen so I made it into a chapter story. The reason that I point this out is because the first part of this chapter won't really tie into the story until later, but I promise that it eventually will.

2. I'm going to pretty much stick to the movie for most of the story, though I will eventually move away from it, and because I don't want to describe everything that you can see when watching the movie I pretty much skim over a lot of those. I will, however, go into more detail when I add scenes or change scenes.

Thank you for reading. I hope you guys enjoy this.

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><p>It was a prayer, Bilbo decided when he was finally old enough to understand the song that had been playing through his head since as long as he could remember. His mother once told him that he was singing that song before he could even speak and he didn't doubt her. Even when he was young, that song had been as much a part of him as his heart and his soul were. He could often be found wandering everywhere singing or humming that song and it was just another thing that made him so very different from the other little hobbits. They all liked to sing happy songs, but Bilbo's song was a story about destruction, pain, and loss wound together with that prayer.<p>

Even before Bilbo knew what the exact meaning of that song was he sang it often, but when he finally understood it he made a point to sing it at least once a day and tried to sing it more often than that. He didn't know who he was praying for, but he felt that they needed it very much.

Bilbo never told his parents, though, about his realization. He was still a very young hobbit and it somewhat concerned his mother that he would even take the time to sing such a sad song when the others his age sang happy songs. He didn't want to concern her even more by telling her about something as serious as that. Besides, he could feel, even at his young age, that the meaning of the song was a secret.

As he continued to grow older, Bilbo continued to understand more and more about his song. He knew that it was about something that had happened some time ago, but recent enough that it wouldn't be in any of the few books of the outside world that had somehow made their way into the shire. He also knew that he had created this song. At first he didn't quite understand how he managed to do that when he was only just a baby, but then he started seeing the destruction in his dreams and he knew that they were memories from a past life. The song was the last thing that he had done with his life before he died and was reborn as Bilbo Baggins of Bag End.

The one thing that Bilbo still couldn't figure out, though, was whom the song was talking about. What race. No matter how hard Bilbo tried to remember, he couldn't recall which of the many big folk out in the world beyond the shire was the one that his previous life had once been. Not even in his memories did he ever get a clear picture of what his previous race had been.

At his young age, though, he was determined to find out.

Bilbo spent many of his younger years exploring the forests looking for elves and dwarves and any other such creature that he thought he might have been. He knew that he wasn't man. He had seen men from Bree as they passed by the shire and they just felt wrong.

Then, tragedy happened and Bilbo found himself at his coming of age without his mother or his father. He had Bag End all to himself and he couldn't feel more alone if he tried. Death was just determined to haunt him and leave him alone with his song to keep praying for others. He stopped going out hunting for creatures and, instead, stayed inside his home for many long hours singing his song for no one's ears.

Bilbo became a very respectable Hobbit when this happened. Most of the other Hobbits spent many hours in doors, especially if they were as rich as he was, so they thought that he was turning into something respectable like his father. Bilbo knew, however, that it wasn't some newfound respectableness that had him retreating to his house to be alone whenever it wasn't absolutely necessary that he be in someone's company. He even tried to avoid the Green Dragon except on the very rare occasion that he needed something stronger than he liked to keep in his house to quell the painful memories that only continued to get stronger as he aged.

Bilbo had become such a recluse that when, finally, a big folk who wasn't a man came to visit him, he drew into himself and acted like the respectable, though somewhat less then hospitable, hobbit the others thought him to be. Gandalf the Grey was a wizard and for a short moment Bilbo wondered if he was once a wizard, but that just sounded wrong so he threw that idea away almost immediately. Then Gandalf had to go and ask him on a journey and he wanted to say yes, he wanted more than anything to leap at the chance and find the people that he had been looking for when he was young, but fear also overtook him; he had such bad luck with death, what was there to say that he would even survive long enough to find his people.

Gandalf would have none of that, though he thought that the reason for Bilbo's denial was because he had started to become what the others were saying he was.

The next night there was a knock on the door that shocked Bilbo. No one, other than his gardener who wouldn't come this late at night, ever tried to bother him because deep down they knew that he was still somewhat strange. He opened the door and found not a hobbit, but a dwarf covered in tattoos. He was gruff and pushed his way into Bilbo's house while introducing himself as Dwalin. Bilbo found himself allowing it despite himself.

And then another named Balin, who was apparently Dwalin's brother if their greeting meant anything, came.

And then two more by the names of Fili and Kili came. They were obviously brothers by the way they acted, but Bilbo knew this for a deeper reason that he couldn't quite explain.

Then Dori, Nori, Ori, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Gloin, and Oin came tumbling in when he opened his door to the next tap and behind them Gandalf stood laughing at the dwarves' clumsiness.

All of these dwarves, and one wizard, Bilbo let into his house. He did complain somewhat, his recluse ways were still clinging to him and he was very unwilling to give that up at this moment, but still he found the liveliness of the company in his house made him happier than he had been in several years. Even when he was running after them as they threw his dishes around, he found that he was having more fun than his feelings of fear could quench.

One more knock came at the door and Bilbo went to answer it, hoping that he wouldn't have to quell off one or two of his neighbors after the rowdiness that was happening in his house, but Gandalf was already opening the door and introducing Bilbo to Thorin Oakenshield, the leader of their company.

As soon as Bilbo laid eyes on the newest dwarf to enter his little hobbit hole, he felt more at home than he had felt since the death of his parents. It just felt right.

Almost immediately after Thorin arrived, and after he had insulted Bilbo's nonexistent skills at burglary, the company sat and their conversations turned serious. Bilbo hovered just in the archway behind Thorin. He wasn't even sure he should be there to hear about the lives of the dwarves as he wasn't one of them, but he knew that walking away would feel even more wrong to him. Even if he didn't feel like he belonged with these people, he was still a gracious hobbit who would not leave his company to themselves unless they asked it of him just to make sure that they didn't need anything. And, if he wasn't a gracious hobbit, he was still partly a curious Took whom he knew would be waiting just in the other room and listening in on the whole conversation.

The meeting was about reclaiming mountains and slaying dragons and Thorin soon had most of the other dwarves cheering in their readiness to take on the beast. Bilbo wanted to cheer too and he felt his heart plummet along with the rest when Balin spoke up. "You forget," he spoke over all the other calls. "The gate is sealed."

All hope seemed lost, but then Gandalf produced a map and a key. Bilbo didn't recognize either item, though he would be able to tell you what was shown on the map after his investigations of so many other maps, and neither did Thorin so Gandalf had to explain about the hidden passage that had been kept secret from the dwarves for many years.

After that, the conversation turned elsewhere and onto burglary it landed. Bilbo became the center of attention when he said something about it was the dreadfully misheard by Oin who was practically deaf and then there were more insults to his nonexistent buglarying skills. Bilbo found himself continually agreeing with the insults, though it made him upset that none of the dwarves trusted him. In neither of the lives that Bilbo lived had he ever been a burglar. Sure he might've stolen a few pastries while his mother wasn't looking when he was young, but all children did that.

Gandalf was the only one to stand up for him, though it was quite against Bilbo's will, and he soon convinced Thorin to at least give Bilbo the chance. Thorin commanded that Balin give Bilbo a contract, which he assumed that all the other dwarves had already signed before they had left their own homes in the Blue mountains; Bilbo wasn't sure how he knew that they lived in the Blue Mountains, but he didn't question it just like so many of the other things that he knew he shouldn't know but did.

Bilbo read that contract in a mumble, adding in his own comments as he read the document, until he came to the part where the contract stated that the dwarves "shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof…" This he read rather quickly as many did when they were skimming over contracts, but he slowed down as he read on. "Including, but not limited to, lacerations, evisceration, incineration…" Bilbo found himself reading with more skepticism.

"Oh aye," Bofur cut in. "He'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye."

Suddenly the room grew hot and Bilbo felt as though he could feel the very fires of Smaug at his back. He wanted, no needed, to run away from the burning flames, but his feet wouldn't move to accommodate him. He was firmly planted in his spot even as he swayed back and forth on his feet.

"You all right laddie?" asked Balin.

"Yea. I feel-" Bilbo tried to get out, but then he felt like he was sucking in the smoke of the fires and he could no longer catch his breath. He crouched lower in an attempt to duck underneath the smoke and breathed in a way his father had taught him when he was young in order to calm him down after his memories sent him nightmares. "I feel a bit faint," he tried again.

"Think furnace with wings," Bofur stood and it looked like he was trying to help, but he was failing utterly at it.

Bilbo knew exactly what the dragon was like. He had seen the creature first hand and had only barely escaped in time. That was why he had written his song. "Air. I-I-I need air."

"Flash of light. Searing pain. Then Poof! You're nothing more than a pile of ash."

But it was so much more than that. Bilbo had been burnt by the flames of the fire in his previous life. He knew exactly what it felt like to be scalded by the giant beast and, worst, he knew exactly what it felt like to survive and then to go through the excruciating time of recovery.

Bilbo tried to pull himself together, he stood as tall as he could force himself, but it wasn't enough. "Nope," was the last word that escaped his mouth before he fell into unconsciousness.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: I got the lyrics of the song from both the movie and the book.

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><p>While the dwarves helped Gandlalf move the little Hobbit to the sitting room, flashes of Smaug's destruction passed through his mind and he could feel the pain of losing all those people. He woke as soon as his body would allow him and he had to fight back tears that tried to escape him.<p>

He didn't want to go and face the dragon. He might have been a mighty dwarf in his past life, but now he was nothing more than a small Hobbit. He didn't have the strength nor the courage to go on adventures and face off against mighty beasts. If he did, he would have done so many years ago.

Gandalf did not agree, however. "You've been sitting here long enough."

Still, Bilbo denied him and he retreated to his room so that Gandalf could no longer try to convince him to go. He heard Balin say something about them losing their burglar, but he didn't really care. He wasn't the right Hobbit for this job despite what Gandalf said.

Bilbo sat on his bed and he could feel the beginnings of regret creep into his soul. It still wasn't enough to encourage him to go into the sitting room and take back his previous denial. Instead, it convinced him to stay in his room so that he wouldn't change his mind when he was faced with the dwarves once more. He fell asleep to the sound of singing coming from the other room.

_Far over the misty mountains cold_

_To dungeons deep and caverns old_

_We must away ere break of day_

_To find our long forgotten gold_

From Bilbo's memory, instruments joined into the music in his head and Bilbo found himself humming along to it even as his eyes closed in sleep.

_The pines were roaring on the height_

_The winds were moaning in the night_

_The fire was red, it flaming spread_

_The trees like torches blazed with light_

Bilbo's memories were much more vivid then they had ever been in his dreams that night.

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><p>"<em>Dragon!" There had been some commotion and Bilbo was deeper in the mountain so he couldn't hear what was going on until finally the frantic cries reached him. At first he thought that it was nothing to worry about, maybe someone in the mountain had done something wrong and there was a commotion because of it, but when he finally heard what the voices were screaming he felt himself go cold with fear.<em>

_At the time he had been playing with the young Fili, giving his mother a break from his exuberance. She and her husband had just found out that she was going to have another child and that made it a lot easier to become exhausted. He didn't mind. He liked children and, of course, Fili was his favorite little nephew. _

_The two of them were playing hide and seek and it was Fili's turn to hide. Bilbo didn't know where the child was. He had only just started looking. "Fili!" he called out even as some dwarves rushed past him. "Fili!" He could hear the young one crying, but with all the dwarves running around he couldn't actually see him. _

"_Uncle!" He finally caught a glimpse of Fili hiding under one of the tables and he forced his way through the frantic crowd to reach him. It wasn't the best of hiding places, but Fili was still very young and Bilbo was glad for it. _

_He snatched Fili up into his arms and ran to the gates. He had a ways to go and he could only hope that he would make it before it was too late._

_As he made his way over one of the many bridges, another voice pierced through the screams calling for Fili. The owner of the voice was coming towards him, but they were also below him so he leaned over the railing just enough to see someone trying to force their way against the crowd._

"_Dis!" he called out and the woman stopped to look up at him. He could see the look of relief that crossed over her face when she saw the little one clinging to him. "Run!" She did as she was told. She had her unborn child to take care of too._

_They wouldn't be able to meet up, Bilbo knew. Both bridges lead to completely different paths to the gate and Dis was much closer to the gate then he was. He only hoped that he would be able to find her outside the mountain. _

_He could see the gates, but no light escaped through them as the giant form of a dragon broke in. So many dwarves were crushed under Smaug's feet, both knights and those that were trying to escape through the one door that lead outside the mountain, but Bilbo had no time to grieve them when he saw Smaug's chest brighten with flames. "Take cover!" he screamed as he moved to stand behind a post. He made sure that there was no possible way for Fili to get hurt, but that allowed the flames to lick at his right side. His arm was irreversibly damaged and his face would hold the ugly scars for the rest of his life. _

_Smaug moved on and Bilbo was able to escape through the gates._

_He was one of the last ones to do so before Smaug seal the gates forever._

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><p><em>Days passed by with them on the road as they looked for a new place to call home and still Bilbo had yet to locate either Dis or Thorin. He was starting to worry that they hadn't made it, but he reassured himself by reminding himself that he was at the back of the pack and they were probably far ahead of them. He just pushed himself a little harder to move forward in the pack to try to find them. <em>

_Fili, though, was quickly getting restless. He wanted his mother. "What if mama didn't make it Uncle?" Fili asked one night when everyone had stopped to set up camp. The party was moving slowly and they had to stop more often then many of them would have liked to be able to accommodate the women and the children. It was quickly wearing on what little resources they had been able to save and some of the strongest that didn't have other duties to attend to were already starting to hunt in order to replenish their food._

"_We don't know that she didn't," Bilbo smiled as best he could with his wounded face. "Now you must get some sleep." Fili hadn't been sleeping well during this trip. Bilbo didn't blame him because, even though Fili was young, he had no doubt that the sight of dragon's fire haunted his dreams. He could only hope that Fili was young enough that he would forget the nightmares in time. _

"_I don't want to," Fili whined, but his eyes were drooping and exhaustion was taking hold of his body despite his desperate attempts to fight it. The only thing that Bilbo could think of to calm the other into sleep was a song, but there were no songs that really fit their present condition so he made one up._

Far over the misty mountains cold

To dungeons deep and caverns old

We must away ere break of day

To seek the pale enchanted gold

The dwarves of yore made might spells

While hammers fell like ringing bells

In places deep, where dark things sleep

In hollow halls beneath the fells

_And he continued to sing even though Fili had already fallen asleep. It calmed him and he could see many of the other dwarves around him relaxing to the sound of the music as well._

_Every night from that moment on, Bilbo sang the song to little Fili in order to help him sleep. He didn't know how much it meant to the other dwarves until weeks later._

_He still hadn't found Dis, but he could no longer keep up the quick pace that he had been trying to use to move to the front of the pack. He had even taken to having Fili walk on his own for periods of time because the pain and exhaustion was just becoming too much for him to handle. Fili couldn't walk fast and, even when Bilbo wasn't carrying Fili, he found that he was slowing to the point that he was actually starting to move back in the pack. _

"_Come Fili," Bilbo said after Fili had been walking for some time. His one good arm ached from carrying the little one, but Fili looked like he would collapse if he walked any further. The night before he had had a very bad nightmare and had gotten very little sleep so that added on to the fact that they had been walking for such a long time. Despite this, Fili refused to climb into Bilbo's arms to be carried. He was a very smart little Dwarf and he could see that Bilbo was just as exhausted as he was._

"_Excuse me," one of the dwarf ladies said as she moved a little bit closer to him. "If you'd like, the little one can ride in the cart for a little while." Very few carts had made it out of Erebor and they were being used to transfer what little remained of the supplies that had been saved. They had not allowed anyone to ride on the carts because it wouldn't be fair to any of the other people if only one was allowed and the people pulling the carts were just as exhausted as everyone else. They were making an exception for Fili because Bilbo was so horribly injured, but he was grateful and he allowed Fili to climb onto the cart with the promise of only allowing him to stay their for a couple of hours while the two of them regained their strength._

"_You should get some rest, Fili."_

"_Will you sing to me Uncle?" So Bilbo began to sing._

Far over the misty mountains cold

To dungeons deep and caverns old

We must away ere break of day

To seek the pale enchanted gold

The dwarves of yore made might spells

While hammers fell like ringing bells

In places deep, where dark things sleep

In hollow halls beneath the fells

_The other dwarves began to join in then and Bilbo could hear the voices spread out from where he walked. Everyone continued to sing with him, not getting anything wrong as he sang until the very last verse. _

Far over the misty mountains grim

To dungeons deep and caverns dim

We must away, ere break of day

To win our harps and gold from him!

_Bilbo smiled when the last notes died down from his lips. The song had spread throughout the whole of the company and Bilbo couldn't see anyone who didn't sing along except for the children who didn't really care for such things. _

_This song wasn't the one that Bilbo would write after that moment as a prayer. This one was meant as a promise. They would return for their gold and the fact that everyone sang along meant that they had hope that they could keep the promise too._

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><p>Bilbo awoke to find himself in complete silence. A quick check of the house confirmed that he was completely alone in his own home. That should have made him happy, but it didn't. It just made him feel lonely. Who knew that one night with a party of dwarves could change one's life so drastically?<p>

As Bilbo searched the house for any sign of the dwarves who had been there the night before, the only thing that he could find was the lack of food in his pantry. That is, until he went into his sitting room and found a very specific contract.

"I'm going on an adventure!"

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><p>PS. Bilbo's name wasn't Bilbo in his previous life, but I just wanted to make it easier for us to know which character is him.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Money was flying up and down the line of ponies. Apparently they took bets on whether or not he would join them. By the looks of it, most said that he wouldn't. He couldn't say that he was particularly happy that they didn't believe in him, but he certainly didn't blame them. He had been rather adamant about not going only the day before.

He did see Fili and Kili both receive many of the bags of money, though, and it made him happy that they had faith in him. Actually, they seemed to be the ones who were getting most of the money. They were probably the ones who started the betting in the first place. Then Gandalf got his share of the money saying something about never doubting him for a moment.

The one person that Bilbo never saw either receive or throw money was Thorin and he had to wonder if the man thought he would come. He had signed the contract before he left, but that could have been just a precautionary measure and there was also the likelihood that Gandalf or someone else told him to do it. Bilbo just decided not to think about it at all.

Instead he was distracted when some of the shorter of his pony's hair blew into his face and made him sneeze. Really, he had never really liked horses or ponies or anything of the sort, he would much rather walk where he needed to be going thank you very much, and when he was young his mother thought that he might be allergic to them because he kept sneezing around them. He only hoped that wasn't true since it seemed like they were going to be travelling on these ponies for quite a ways.

Bilbo reached into his pocket to take out his handkerchief, but he came up empty handed. "Stop!" Everyone gave him a look of annoyance and amusement when he said that he had to go back to get it, Bofur was kind enough to offer a rag from his shirt while Gandalf scolded him for desiring something that he should really do without on an adventure like this, but none of them understood. That handkerchief was more than just something that a common respectable hobbit would carry around. It once belonged to his mother and she had given it to him as his lucky charm. It always did its trick and, on the few occasions that he forgot it or grabbed a different handkerchief, something bad tended to happen to him. The fact that he left his lucky handkerchief back in the Shire at Bag End made him more nervous about this crazy adventure than he had been originally, but he couldn't explain that to the dwarves or Gandalf. The dwarves wouldn't understand luck when they had so little of it on their own and Gandalf would just give one of his judgingly knowing looks that made you feel like you were just acting really stupid. Bilbo had no desire for either of these reactions, so he decided to keep his mouth firmly shut after the first attempt.

Unfortunately, Bilbo worried about it far more than he should have. He couldn't sleep that night for more reasons than just the comfortableness of the rocks beneath him. He had the terrible feeling that something bad was going to happen and he didn't want to be asleep when it did.

Finally, he gave up his struggle for sleep and decided to stretch his legs a bit. And maybe give Myrtle an apple. She did have a proper fondness for apples and Bilbo really did like living creatures despite his previous objection to having to ride on a pony. Even when he was a dwarf, he had an improper love of growing things. He had always been different from all the other dwarves, but that never bothered him. He would have liked to have had some siblings to defend him against cruel taunts like he was sure Dori and Nori had done for Ori, but otherwise he didn't care for anything that he didn't have.

Bilbo was torn from his musings when he heard a sound in the trees. He recognized it, but he really couldn't quite place it so he asked Fili and Kili who were the closest two awake dwarves around. He should have known better.

"Orcs," Kili muttered with a way look on his face.

"Orcs?" Bilbo repeated. He was trying to be quiet, but it was evident that he was too loud when Thorin stood in his place after waking to Bilbo's frightened gasp. He looked out just to make sure they weren't under attack, but then his nephews continued to speak and he realized that they were just pulling one over on the Hobbit. Normally he wouldn't much care about what Kili and Fili joked around about, but this was one thing that he would not allow any of the members of his party to not take seriously. Bilbo couldn't blame him.

"You think that's funny?" Thorin growled at his nephews and they both shrunk back, knowing that they had done wrong. "You think a night raid by orcs is a joke?"

"We didn't mean anything by it," Kili pouted as he shrunk a little further into the rocks that he had been leaning against when this whole thing started.

Bilbo frowned when Thorin continued scolding them, ending with a "You know nothing of the world," before walking away. If it was true that they didn't know much about the world, then he wanted it to remain that way for as long as possible. The jokes about the orcs was a little too far even for those jokers, but both Fili and Kili were still very young to the dwarves and Kili shouldn't even be allowed on this journey. He would rather them have more time to see happiness, but Thorin had seen too much pain to allow his nephews to reach that high and then come crashing down. He just wouldn't let them reach that his.

"Don't mind him laddie," Balin said. Apparently he was of a similar mind as Bilbo was about the fact that Thorin had been a little harsh, but he went about it a different way then Bilbo would have. He decided that the best way to explain Thorin's reaction was to explain that day where they fought at the Mines of Moria. Bilbo could barely listen and he shuddered when the words "He started by beheading the king," slipped into his consciousness and brought back gruesome memories of King Thror's head being thrown amongst the battle. He could hear Thorin's gut-wrenching scream of denial and he could hear Azog's horrible laughter.

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><p>"<em>Noooo!" Thorin yelled as Azog held the king's head up for anyone and everyone to see it. That was the moment that turned everything to the worst. Before that, both the dwarves and the orcs had been almost evenly matched and, though there were many deaths on both sides, no one was really winning. Then Azog set his sights on and defeated the king and the dwarves seemed to weaken. Perhaps they lost hope or maybe they were just leaderless, but either way the dwarves were losing the moment the King's head hit the ground.<em>

_Bilbo looked around for the next in line to the throne, Thrain, Thorin's father, but he was nowhere to be found and Bilbo suddenly realized that it now landed to Thorin himself. He didn't know if the other was ready for it. It was supposed to be many years before he even had to worry about taking the throne, but now that all this was happening, Thorin was being thrust into the role of leader long before it was his time. He looked back at Thorin and saw that he was fighting his way towards Azog, but it would take him some time to get there and the defiler was yelling something in his foul language that Bilbo could not understand while pointing straight at Thorin. Bilbo, on the other hand, was much closer to the giant orc._

_He knew what he had to do. He had to buy time for Thorin to get there. Maybe he could even tire the pale orc enough that Thorin wouldn't have too much trouble facing him and Thorin would be able to take back their courage and move them into the lead._

_Bilbo stepped forward, holding his blade high, and came face to face with Azog the Defiler. Those pale lips grinned as another laugh came from his throat. "You think you can beat me," the creature snarled. Bilbo knew that he must look weak with being only able to use one arm and he must seem like a joke to the orc that he really shouldn't be facing off against, but he didn't step up with an intention of surviving. Only with the idea of buying time and to make sure that none of the other dwarves would get hurt by this massive orc._

"_Even with only one arm," Bilbo taunted the disgusting orc before him. He would have said more, but those five words were all that was needed for Azog to attack. Had he been able to finish his statement he would have said something about being able to hold his own against the pale orc instead of saying he could defeat the other. Apparently, either way, the orc didn't take kindly to cripples challenging him. Especially cripple dwarves. _

_Bilbo could feel the impact of the weapons as he defended himself with a sword reaching all the way down to his toes. And then Azog's weapon retreated only to come down on him again. And again. And again. Bilbo could feel his arm cracking and eventually breaking under the pressure and then the sword was gone from his grip and he was defenseless. He could only hope that he bought Thorin enough time._

"_No!" he heard Thorin yell again as the large mace-like weapon that Azog held made contact with his chest. It crushed his ribs and, as he hit the ground and all the air was knocked out of him, Bilbo realized that his lungs had been pierced as well. He stayed alive, gasping for air, with just enough time to see Thorin cut Azog's hand from his body while wielding an oaken branch and a sword that did not belong to him._

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><p>"Azog, the Defiler, learned that day that the line of Durin would not be so easily broken." Balin said. It was obvious that he was proud of Thorin and he continued by saying that he knew then that he could follow Thorin and the other dwarves seemed to agree with him as they stood staring at Thorin with such reverence in their eyes. Bilbo would have done the same if he had survived the battle, but he didn't. Now there was one question that he needed to ask.<p>

"But the pale orc," Bilbo asked. "What happened to him?"

"That filth slunk back into the hole from whence it came," Thorin growled as he stalked back to his place by the fire. "That filth died of his wounds long ago."

One look at Gandalf was enough to make Bilbo doubt those words. After all, he had once been the living proof that someone could survive wounds that should have killed. He only hoped that Thorin was right because he really didn't want to have to face off against Azog again. Even with two hands, he was certain that his new smaller and much weaker body would not even make it as far against Azog as his crippled Dwarven body had.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: I just wanted to mention real fast that Bilbo's memories don't go in a particular order. It's just whatever he remembers when he remembers it.

* * *

><p>After that night, Bilbo was haunted by the memory of that battle as well as the dreams that he had had before. He hadn't known until then how he had died, and now that he did it scared him more than anything in the world. He wanted to help them, but he was a hobbit. What could a hobbit really do for dwarves?<p>

The only thing that calmed Bilbo and made him want to stay, was watching Fili and Kili act together. He hadn't been able to see how they would grow up because they were still very young when he had left for Moria, and it was nice to see them. He had been there when they first met and had known from that moment on that they were going to be the closest brothers and he was glad to know that he was right. It wasn't hard to get wrong, though, especially when the two of them were soul mates.

* * *

><p>"<em>Uncle," Fili whined one day as they walked through the group. It had been months since they escaped the lonely mountain and started wandering in search of a new home and Bilbo still had yet to reach the front. He was glad that so many of the dwarves had survived, but he couldn't help but want to find the front after pushing both him and Fili so hard to get there. "My chest hurts."<em>

_For a moment Bilbo was concerned about Fili's health, but then when he saw that the little one was making a face of discomfort more so than actual pain, he knew what was happening. "That probably means that your soul mate has just been born," he replied as he picked Fili up in his arms. His wounds had healed enough that they didn't pain him as much anymore and he could carry Fili for longer periods of time without reaching his limit of exhaustion._

"_Is this what it felt like for you?" Fili asked with wide eyes._

"_Oh no," Bilbo shook his head. "You see I was the second-born soul mate, so I didn't feel the Separation, but I felt the Reunion and it was the most amazing thing that you'll ever feel."_

"_What did it feel like?" Fili asked._

"_Well," Bilbo said thoughtfully. "It's kind of hard to explain, but I'll try. Right now, the feeling that you have is called Separation. It's the time when your heart separates into two pieces so that the second half can go to the second-born soul mate. It makes you feel like your missing something right?" Fili nodded his head. "When the Reunion happens, the two halves of the heart come together once more and that feeling of emptiness goes away to allow something more from your soul mate to make you better than you ever were."_

"_What if I don't like my soul mate?" Fili asked._

"_I'll tell you a secret," Bilbo said in a mischievous kind of way that was sure to always make Fili listen to him. "My soul mate didn't like me at first."_

"_What?!" Fili gasped. "But you and Uncle Thorin are so close now."_

"_Yes," Bilbo nodded, "but I wasn't what he imagined when he thought of his soul mate. He didn't like that I wasn't some tough little dwarf lass, so he denied me as his soul mate. I never told him, but the Rejection hurt very much and I had to deal with it alone until he finally realized that I was what he needed."_

"_What is the Rejection?" Fili asked._

"_Well, the Rejection is when one or both of the soul mates deny their bond. Usually just one of them does it so they don't actually feel the affects, but the other does. The two halves of the heart ripped apart again by the denial of the soul mates and they're kept apart and that emptiness gets worse. It feels something like that of a starving man trying to reach out to the food just before him, but he can't quite reach it."_

"_I don't want that to happen to my soul mate," Fili frowned._

"_The only thing that you need to know is that your soul mate is the perfect person for you. Once your Uncle Thorin figured that out, the Reunion was able to take place once more and we lived happily."_

"_What if my soul mate doesn't like me?" _

"_Then just keep going after them until they do because just like your soul mate is the perfect person for you, you're also the perfect person for your soul mate."_

"_Do you think it will take me a very long time to find my soul mate?"_

"_Some people never find their's," Bilbo answered truthfully, "but those are the people who don't go looking for them. It may take a while, but as long as you keep looking, you will find them."_

* * *

><p><em>It was only a week later when the topic was brought up again, but this time it was for a different reason. "Uncle!" Fili gasped suddenly as he clutched at his chest. "I don't feel right."<em>

_Bilbo stopped immediately and put little Fili on the ground while the other dwarves moved around them. They glanced at the two of them worriedly, but they had the feeling that this was probably a personal matter so they went on without a word. "What is the matter?" Bilbo asked calmly. It wouldn't do to get Fili even more worked up than he already was._

"_My chest really hurts," Fili began to cry._

_Bilbo frowned. There were only three reasons for his chest to be hurting like that: the Separation, the Rejection, and, the death of the soul mate. There was one other choice; the one that Bilbo could only hope was the truth. In certain cases, when the bond of the soul mates was strong enough, they could call out to each other when they needed each other. He and Thorin had that close of a bond, but it wasn't until after the Reunion that they could actually use it and there hadn't been any reported cases of it happening before the Reunion, but he had to hope. "Does it feel like you need to go somewhere?" Bilbo asked desperately even as he tried to keep his voice as even as possible for the little one. Fili nodded and Bilbo picked him up once more. "Point me in the right direction." And then he took off at a run. The only times this type of communication had worked between Thorin and himself had been when they were so badly hurt that they were on the verge of death and needed immediate care so he knew he had to hurry._

_Bilbo moved to the side of the group so that he could move quicker and only have to dodge the occasional dwarf who strayed outside the group. _

"_Wait! Uncle, wait!" Fili suddenly scrambled out of his arms and rushed into the crowd with Bilbo hot on his heels._

"_There's nothing you can do for him?" Bilbo heard as they reached another cart. This one was covering in a tent of cloth and Bilbo quickly realized that it was a healer's cart. He had been in one for a day or so when he first got injured and they were meant to carry the wounded and sick while they were on a journey. These carts they were able to save several of because they were kept at the front of the gate, but some of them were converted for transporting supplies so there were very few of them scattered throughout the large company of travelling dwarves._

"_I'm sorry Ma'am, but this type of fever can only be cured by the soul mate. No one of his age and who has yet to experience the Reunion has ever survived it."_

_Bilbo spotted Fili trying to climb into the cart, but he was too short and no one else noticed him so Bilbo took it upon himself. He shouldered past the last dwarf to get in his way, which he didn't notice was actually a guard, and lifted Fili up to deposit him on the cart. _

_Inside, he was surprised to see Dis sitting there with a healer and a little baby dwarf wheezing in her arms. "Fili!" she gasped when he scrambled up to her, but he paid her no attention. Instead, he looked at the little child in her arms. He reached out and tried to take him from her, but she pulled back. She didn't want her eldest son to accidentally drop her youngest and make the situation worse than it already was._

_Fili glared up at his mother, but before he could say anything Bilbo cut in. "Fili, if you sit down I'm sure your mother will let you hold him."_

_Fili instantly sat cross-legged on the cart floor, which was saying something because he very rarely liked to follow orders so quickly, and, with a nod from Bilbo, Dis carefully placed the little baby in Fili's lap. Almost immediately, the little baby's wheezing began to subside as Fili held him in his arms and rocked back and forth to calm the crying that had been trying to escape past the wheezing. Once both had subsided, the little baby opened his eyes and began to giggle as he yanked on Fili's hair and play with Fili's fingers._

"_The Reunion!" the healer gasped. "This is a miracle."_

_The guard, who had followed Bilbo to the cart with every intention of removing him from it and their princess, turned and ran towards the head of the group yelling things like "The young prince Fili lives and Kili will live!" as he went. There was a lot of commotion and celebration, but Fili paid no mind to any of it. He just sat there and played with his young brother and soul mate, Kili._

* * *

><p>Fili kept their bond a secret and nobody was against that. Both he and Kili were much too young to be worrying about soul mates, but Bilbo had thought that he would have told him before their mission to Erebor. He was getting the sneaking suspicion that he hadn't, though, since the two of them were very close, but not as close as he believed they would have been had they been together.<p>

Still, Thorin respected their bond and often sent them off to be alone together. Maybe he was hoping that Fili would finally tell Kili when they were together. Or maybe it was just better to never separate the two of them since Fili still seemed to be very protective of his brother and Kili, though he was reckless and didn't always look it, was scarcely less so for his brother. They had always been there to back each other up when Bilbo knew them as a dwarf and he often found himself unable to deny them anything from getting out of being punished to getting a bite of sweets before dinner.

Bilbo found himself still unable to deny the young dwarves as they shoved him towards a troll camp with the promise of being right behind him even though they disappeared almost immediately. The logical part of Bilbo's mind told him that he needed to turn back and get the rest of the dwarves, but he also didn't want to get Fili and Kili in trouble for not paying attention so he decided to just go for it.


	5. Chapter 5

Bilbo snuck up to the gate that was holding their ponies with ease, which surprised him greatly as he had never been good at sneaking in either of his lives. He supposed it was probably because at this moment sneaking was necessary when it had never been before. He could do anything if it was necessary for his friends and family. He only hoped it would last when he had to face off against a dragon.

It was the moment that he reached the gate that he found himself at a loss. He tried to undo the knot, but it was tied much too tight for him to untie and the rope was much to heavy for him to remove. It was in this moment that he wished that he had a weapon. As a dwarf he would never have been caught dead without at least a small dagger stuffed in his boots, but now as a hobbit he hadn't even thought of such things and didn't have a boot to stash them in even if he had. He really should have turned back at that moment and at least asked one of his nephews for something to cut the rope, but as the though crossed his mind he noticed that there was a large sharp weapon strapped to one of the trolls.

He crept his way over to the troll despite the ponies' protests and then realized that he had no actual plan on how to get the weapon. It was much bigger than he originally thought. Bigger, even, than him. If he picked it up, it would likely knock him over and that was only if he somehow managed to remove it from the back of a very large troll. Needless to say, Bilbo could not do that.

The moment he tried, he was caught in the most disgusting way and then when Kili came out, followed by the rest of the dwarves, to save him he only escaped long enough to lug the large weapon over and release the ponies before he was caught again and the rest of the dwarves were captured with him.

Bilbo couldn't help but feel severely disappointed in himself. As a dwarf he would never have gotten his whole company captured. He probably wouldn't have even gotten himself captured, but that was neither here nor there. Bilbo was a hobbit now and he had to go about things the way a hobbit should.

He was given his chance to do just that when the trolls were stupid enough to mention their weakness in front of their captives. Honestly, Bilbo would never thought up his next plan if they hadn't said anything, but they did so now he saw his chance. He had always been better with brains than brawn anyway.

* * *

><p><em>Bilbo was never thought of as a true dwarf. Many of the others often said that he was meant to be another species all together because he would rather sit and read a book then take the time to wrestle with the rest of the children. He loved adventures just as much as any of the other dwarves, but he didn't see the reason to get into fights with each other. There was no adventure in that. <em>

_That didn't, however, mean that Bilbo didn't learn how to fight. Being the son of the one of the king's main guard, he spent plenty of time practicing with his father and working in the smithy to improve his skills. He just spent the rest of it improving his knowledge instead of playing around. _

_Bilbo's father always wanted him to go into the guard, but he had no intention of doing that. He would risk his life for the king when danger was upon them; he would not spend countless hours standing at the throne waiting to capture a stupid dwarf doing something less than savory. Still, his father insisted to the point that he at least had to meet him and see where he worked. His father, who was good friends with the king's son Thrain, had gotten special permission to show Bilbo around anywhere that a guard would be positioned._

_That was how he met Thorin Oakenshield._

* * *

><p>"<em>This is the training grounds," his father said to him as he gestured toward the room where the two youngest royals were sparring. <em>

_Bilbo looked at the room as a whole, it was much bigger than any other sparring rooms, which is to be expected for royalty, and then at the two in the center of it. He could see some mistakes that they were making. The dark-haired princess had a few openings every now and again just after she swung her sword and the light-haired prince couldn't seem to keep his footing. They weren't horrible flaws that anyone would notice, but Bilbo was very good at finding a person's strengths and weaknesses. It was one of the first things that his father had taught him so that he would be able to take out an enemy as quickly as possible. _

_He wasn't the only one who was noticing the slips, though._

_Off to the side, the eldest dark-haired prince kept pointing out their weaknesses and telling them how to fix it despite the fact that they kept falling back into their mistakes every time he fixed them. _

"_There's no need to push them so hard, Prince Thorin," Bilbo's father called out over the clanging of the metal swords clashing together._

"_Mister Vorin," Dis said excitedly when she looked up and saw him. She just barely dodged out of the way of the attack Frerin sent towards her before sending him a nasty glare for attacking her when she wasn't paying attention. "What brings you here today. I had heard that you were taking the day off."_

"_I was just showing my youngest son around," Vorin waved his hand towards Bilbo who bowed respectably to the royals._

"_Haran, at your service," Bilbo introduced._

_Dis came bounding over and held out her hand for Bilbo to take. It was custom for anyone who was looking for a soul mate to join their hands in the hopes that the skin-on-skin contact would induce the Reunion. It wouldn't be rude for Bilbo to refuse the hand, as he wasn't actively seeking a mate himself, but his father gave him a look and he could not refuse. _

_Bilbo joined hands with princess Dis and, much to his relief, nothing happened. Then prince Frerin came and took his hand with nothing happening. Bilbo half expected the older prince to come over too, but he stayed where he was and paid Bilbo little mind. _

"_Come and train with us," Dis suggested with a smile despite her disappointment at still not being able to find her soul mate. "Thorin hasn't had a challenge yet that he couldn't beat."_

"_I'd rather not," Bilbo said politely. Not even his father's reproachful look could make him change his mind. He did not like to fight and so avoided it whenever possible._

"_Are you so weak, Haran son of Vorin, that you will not face me?" Thorin spoke for the first time to him. He looked like he was hoping for a fight, he was probably waiting for someone worthy to come to his attention, but Bilbo would not be swayed. That didn't, however, mean that he would allow such a comment to slide past him._

"_Perhaps I believe that you, Thorin son of Thrain, are too weak to face me."_

_Bilbo turned to leave, readying himself for his father's scolding when they were out of earshot, but someone yanked him back and he felt a feeling of completeness overtake him. It was the Reunion. _

"_You are my intended?" Thorin growled. "A weak dwarf like you who cannot even fight has no place amongst royalty."_

_Then the pain set in and it was so much worse than it had been before. Bilbo knew that he must have felt the Rejection, but he made sure not to show it. Thorin already thought he was weak; he didn't want his intended to belittle him for feeling the Rejection so keenly as well. "Yes, well, then I suppose that we must part ways for now." Bilbo chose his words carefully. He didn't want to accidently make Thorin feel Rejection as well. He would never wish that on his intended. _

_Bilbo gave one more respectable bow, aimed mostly towards Thorin, before turning on his heel and leaving so that he could curl in on himself and get used to the pain that would probably be with him for the rest of his life. There was one good thing about the Rejection: his father wouldn't dare to scold him when he was already experiencing this horrible torture._

* * *

><p>In the end, after Bilbo had distracted the trolls for a little while, it was Gandalf who ultimately saved them. Bilbo was grateful, he didn't know if he could distract the trolls any longer than he had, but he wished that Thorin would acknowledge what he did to help. He overheard Thorin's conversation with Gandalf and found that Thorin blamed him for their mishap. It was his fault that they got caught, but he wasn't the one to lose the ponies in the first place. It was unfair, but he rather he get blamed than Fili and Kili.<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

It wasn't long before they were moving again, but they weren't planning on going very far since they left the ponies where they were with Ori. They found a Troll horde, which Bilbo refused to go into because he didn't want his sensitive Hobbit nose to be subjected to the scents that he could already smell wafting outside of the cave. Gandalf, Thorin, and a few of the other dwarves went in while the rest stayed outside and stood guard. That's when Fili and Kili approached Bilbo once again.

"We're terribly sorry Master Burglar," the two said as they bowed slightly to him. At least they remembered that part of Bilbo's teachings. Bilbo wasn't the only one to teach them apologizing, of course, but he was the one to teach them how to realize that they've made a mistake even when they aren't punished for it. It was generally Bilbo who took the blame for them, so they always had to come and apologize to him.

He remembered when they were younger and Kili still didn't talk, even though it was way past time that he should have started, and Fili would be the one that would apologize for both of them while Kili just followed his every move.

* * *

><p>"<em>Fili," Bilbo said in a false calm voice that his nephews would soon realize meant that they, or whoever else was on the receiving end, were in trouble. <em>

"_Yes Uncle?" Fili asked as he came to greet Bilbo by his mother's fire. Kili was stumbling along behind him, gripping onto his sleeve like it was his only lifeline, and Bilbo could tell by the little crumbs on the little one's jacket that it was not only Fili who ate the cookies._

"_Your mother was very mad to find that two of her cookies had been stolen," Bilbo divulged with his uninjured brow raised._

_Fili gulped immediately while Kili looked up at Fili with unknowing eyes. "Does she know who took them?" Fili asked, always tactically trying to figure out if they were in trouble without actually getting them into trouble. _

"_I told her that I let the two of you have them," Bilbo said. Fili's eyes immediately lit up and he grinned from ear to ear, but Bilbo was not done. "I did see you sneak the cookies, after all," Fili's grin wasn't so big anymore, "and I know I should have stopped you, but I thought that your Uncle Thorin was teaching you that it's not good to steal. I thought that you should know better." This was Bilbo's best form of punishment. Even when other forms of punishment were assigned, he liked to sit down and talk with Fili, and now Kili, to get the point across about how what they had done was not good. Guilt, he found, was a great emotion to discourage future transgressions._

"_Yes Uncle," Fili looked down to the ground in shame. He knew very well that he was not supposed to do things like that. He liked it better when Uncle Haran scolded him, though, because when Uncle Thorin did it, he always brought up the fact that Fili was a prince and his heir. Bilbo knew Thorin meant well, but he didn't like to put that much weight on a child so young. _

"_However," Bilbo continued. "I also saw that Kili really wanted a cookie for himself."_

"_It wasn't his fault," Fili jumped in immediately. If there was one sure way to get Fili to talk back to you, it was to blame Kili. _

"_No," Bilbo shook his head. "Both of you ate the cookies. What you both did was wrong, but I saw that you got a cookie first for your brother because he wanted one and then for yourself only as an after thought. That is the only reason that I told your mother what I did and I will not do it again. It is good that you are trying to make your brother happy, but you have to ask before you take. Your mother was hoping to save those cookies for a nice desert after dinner, but now neither of you will be having any."_

"_Yes Uncle," Fili pouted, but he already knew the punishment of what he did and he also knew that, had his uncle not stood up for him, it would've been worse. He was just glad that Kili wasn't going to get in trouble except for a lack of cookies after dinner._

"_Now Fili," Bilbo stopped the two of them before they could leave the room. "You and your brother have done wrong. What do you say when you do wrong?"_

"_We're sorry Uncle Haran," Fili said with a bow. Kili only bowed because Fili did, but Bilbo didn't expect anything else so he sent the two of them off to their room to play._

"_You spoil them," Thorin said from the doorway once his two nephews had left the room. He walked over to stand behind the seated Bilbo and rest his hands upon his shoulders. "How will they ever learn if you don't let them get in trouble?"_

"_I can't help it," Bilbo smiled as he rested his uninjured cheek on Thorin's hand. The scars on the other side of his face made that side very sensitive and he tried not to aggravate it by rubbing it against anything. "I would have done the same thing for you."_

"_I think it's the other way around," Thorin smiled and Bilbo laughed. Thorin had just accidentally proved his point and he was only just now realizing it as he cursed himself. "That's unfair."_

"_All's fair in love and war," Bilbo replied._

_There was a moment of silence and then Thorin moved to sit next to Bilbo with a concerned expression on his face. "I want to talk to you about Kili." Bilbo nodded and Thorin continued. "He still hasn't spoken even though all the other dwarflings his age have. I'm worried that he never will."_

"_It's alright Thorin," Bilbo smiled reassuringly. "My elder brother and I were really close as children and he always seemed to know what I wanted as soon as I wanted it." Bilbo's older brother had been part of the guard and had perished with his father when the dragon came, so they rarely talked about him, but that didn't make Bilbo's memories of him any less fond. "It took me ages to start talking because I didn't need to with him around and we weren't nearly as close as Fili and Kili are. Give him time, I guarantee you that he will be talking full sentences before you even know it." Everyone had thought that Bilbo was a late bloomer and would be very dumb when he wouldn't talk at a normal age, but he turned out to be rather smart so he wasn't worried for Kili's sake at all. Even if it did turn out that Kili was dumb, Fili would love him no matter what._

"_My family never had that problem," Thorin pointed out. _

"_You were raised in a royal family where you're taught to be well spoken at a young age so that you'll be ready to address your people when you got old enough. You didn't have time to choose not to talk. Don't worry about it. And tell your sister not to worry too, since I know that she's probably hysterical by now with you starting to worry."_

* * *

><p>They were cute at that age. Now that Bilbo was getting his memory back, he really wished that he had been there to see the two of them grow up. As it is, he's not even sure Fili remembers him, let alone Kili. Sometimes, looking at Thorin as he is now, Bilbo even wonders if Thorin remembers him, but he immediately shakes himself because he know that his soulmate would never forget him. It had been years and Thorin had enough time to get over him and stop grieving for him.<p>

"Yes, well," Bilbo responded to the boys with a fake agreeable voice that he hoped the brothers would soon come to learn meant that they were in trouble, "perhaps next time you'll keep a better eye on the ponies. And you won't send helpless Hobbits into danger even if they are burglars." Which Bilbo still insisted that he wasn't, but that was a totally different fight.

"We didn't mean to put you in danger," Kili said.

"We thought that you'd be able to get in and out without being caught," Fili continued.

"And you didn't want to get in trouble," Bilbo crossed his arms. They weren't going to turn this around on him. He knew them too well. "Had you thought it through, you might have realized that even if I had gotten the ponies free without being caught, the trolls would've have noticed that they were leaving. Either way, there was no getting out of there undetected." Fili and Kili looked at each other bashfully, but Bilbo was not finished. "Of course, I didn't think of it either, so I can't be too angry at you, but you have to remember that I'm not used to adventures and I wouldn't have a reason to think of such things with the quickness that is required while in danger."

Kili and Fili both had the decency to look chastised, but Bilbo never got to know if they were going to say anything else because it was in that moment that Thorin and the rest of the group emerged from the troll horde,

Thorin was carrying a new sword, Bilbo notice almost immediately, and he was curious about it, but he chose not to ask. He got his answer from Gandalf, anyway, when he explain his own new weapon to him despite Bilbo's refusal for it. Bilbo had earlier desired a weapon when he was faced with trolls, but now that he had one in his hand, he wanted nothing more than to drop it and leave it behind. He was a Hobbit, not a dwarf, and Hobbit's didn't carry such things. Besides, even in his old life, Bilbo really hated to kill. He only carried around daggers for self-defense. There was no knowing what kind of creatures would attack someone even when they were weaponless. Especially after he married Thorin.

That logic, of course, fit more so into his current circumstance of a burglar on a very dangerous journey then it did before, but Bilbo really didn't want a sword no matter how beautiful it was. He would be fine with small little daggers that he could carry in his hands. He only used swords when he was getting ready for war and he really hoped that there wouldn't be a war on this journey.


	7. Chapter 7

A sound off in the distance distracts everyone as Thorin yells that someone is coming and Bilbo can no longer deny the sword because Gandalf has moved off. It will be useful, but not as it is now in its sheathe.

Bilbo pulled the sword out and was immediately mesmerized by it. He wasn't caught in any sort of gold lust for it, but he had never seen a sword so well made. Now he was very glad that he didn't get rid of it despite his desire to never use it. He could get used to using this sword and still, hopefully, not have to use it during a war. A dagger to fit his hands would probably not do much damage to a goblin, let alone an orc or a dragon. This weapon would just have to take their place.

Luckily, Bilbo had no need for the weapon because their so-called attacker was just another wizard. One of the ones that Gandalf had mentioned earlier: Radagast the Brown. The man was rather odd and Bilbo couldn't help but to cringe in disgust when Gandalf pulled a stick insect out of the brown wizards mouth. Bilbo kept his home as insect free as possible and even though he had to deal with many bugs on this journey already, that didn't mean that he liked them and more. In fact, he might say that he liked them even less, especially when they crawled all over his skin, and he didn't know how Radagast was so nonchalant about it. Gandalf had said that Radagast watched over the woods, but still.

He had no real time to think of it, however, because Radagast soon started talking about evil things that Bilbo had never heard of. The other dwarves didn't seem to be concerning themselves with the wizards' conversation and it was probably only Bilbo's Hobbit curiosity that prompted him to listen in on the muttered words. He still didn't understand what they were talking about, of course, but he would remember all of those cautious words in the future just in case they came up again.

Just as abruptly as Radagast came and started their dark conversation, it was over with the sounds of a warg on the wind.

"Was that a wolf? Are their wolves out there?" Bilbo asked, knowing that those were not wolves and hoping beyond hope that they were.

Bofur confirmed his suspicion of wargs just before one actually appeared above them. And, as soon as that one had been defeated, another appeared. Kili shot it just in time to stop it from attacking Thorin. And then the other dwarves were on it before it could get back up again.

Thorin growled something, but Bilbo couldn't think straight enough to hear what he was saying. He saw everyone tense and then Ori and Bifur were running up to them without any ponies. There chances of surviving this were quickly dwindling. The only one who had the possibility of outrunning the orc pack was Bilbo as he was quick and light on his feet, but in the event that he was captured he would also be the only one who had no way of protecting himself. He still hadn't gotten a chance to even pull out his long enough to even relearn how to use it.

The next thing Bilbo knew, with his heart pounding in his ears at his fright, was Radagast taking off on a sled pulled by rabbits and the company running behind him. Radagast quickly lost them, but Bilbo supposed that was the point when they reached the clearing and found him leading the orcs of a wild chase. Gandalf was leading them on a similar chase, while the company followed him without even knowing where they were going. Thorin seemed to be suspicious at one point, but there was really nothing that could be done to go against the wizard so they continued on.

It wasn't to last, unfortunately. They were hiding against a rock when they heard the tell tale signs of a warg that had caught there sent above them. Thorin looked over at Kili's bow and Kili nodded to show that he knew what he had to do. It was at that moment that Bilbo was very glad that he had taught Kili how to use the bow.

* * *

><p>"<em>Why can't I be with Fili?" Kili pouted as the little one walked in the trees near the homes with Bilbo. This was the first time that Kili had been separated from Fili for more than a few moments. Even when Fili had started training, Kili had been allowed to watch since everyone knew that he would sneak that way anyway. This time was different, however. Thorin took Fili out into the forest to train by hunting and neither of them would be able to keep track of the little one in that dangerous area. They left him with Bilbo because he was the only one who had nothing to do except look after the little one. It also helped that Kili looked up to Bilbo as his "favorite" uncle.<em>

"_Fili's off on an adventure," Bilbo smiled kindly. "He's very excited to return and show you what he accomplished. You wouldn't deprive him of that, would you?"_

_Kili took a moment to puzzle through Bilbo's words, which was his intent as a way to distract the other, and then he shook his head slowly. "But I want to be with him."_

"_If you're patient, I'm sure he will be very happy to see you again when he returns," Bilbo replied before quickly changing the subject. "Now why don't we play a game? What would you like to play?"_

"_I spy!" Kili said immediately. It was his favorite game because he always seemed to win._

"_Alrighty then," Bilbo nodded. "You go first."_

"_I spy something black!" Kili said after glancing around._

_It was a hard one, of course, since there didn't seem to be anything black except for the shadows, but Bilbo still threw out some guesses. Some of them were so outrageous that they made Kili laugh, but Bilbo never got the answer right. Finally, he gave up and was shocked when Kili pointed into the shadow at a raven that had been watching them for some time now. If Kili hadn't pointed him out, Bilbo would never have seen it at all and he had some of the better sights of the dwarves._

"_How long is it before you are to start learning your weapons?" Bilbo asked the young one._

"_Uncle Thorin says that he'll take me and Fili to start training with ours swords together on my birthday next week!" Kili said excitedly._

"_Would you like me to teach you another weapon now?" Bilbo asked. "You can surprise your uncle and Fili with it when they return."_

"_Can I really?" Kili asked excitedly._

"_Of course," Bilbo smiled._

* * *

><p><em>Kili took up the bow a lot faster than Bilbo was really expecting. It was almost like the young one was just meant to have that particular weapon in his hands. He barely even had to readjust Kili's stance before the little one was hitting his target. He wasn't getting bullseyes, at least not yet, but the fact that he was already hitting the target is more than he was able to say for himself when he was first learning it. With some constant practice, Kili would surely be a pro in no time. <em>

_Once Kili had picked up the bow, though, he was so determined to learn that Bilbo had to practically tear the bow away from him as the light of the day dimmed. He might have literally had to do that if he hadn't thought to mention the fact that Fili would be home and wanting to see Kili any minute now. The moment Fili's name passed through Bilbo's lips, the bow was thrust back at him and Kili was running back to his home. Bilbo laughed and ran after the little one, scooping him up so that they could walk peacefully back despite Kili's constant squirming._

_They returned to find Thorin and Fili at the front door, removing their weapons to be placed by the front door with their coats._

"_Fili!" Kili yelled excitedly, squirming out of Bilbo's hold to throw his arms around his brother who eagerly returned the embrace. "How did your trip go?"_

"_Uncle showed me a lot of stuff…" Fili immediately began to tell Kili about all that had happened on his journey. He wasn't able to kill anything since he wasn't as quick as the other dwarves, but he had been the one to notice a lot of the wild animals. After all, his eye was almost as good as his little brother's. _

"_And what have you been up to while we were gone?" Thorin kissed Bilbo's lips lovingly. Despite Bilbo's previous concerns that Thorin might not want to kiss lips that were as scarred as his, the first thing that Thorin had done when Bilbo was given the all clear was give him on kiss for everyday that he hadn't been able to while Bilbo was healing. It was nice to know that Thorin really didn't care about that sort of thing._

"_I'm sure Kili will be happy to tell you," Bilbo smiled into the kiss. Thorin looked pointedly over at the two boys with Fili still talking animatedly and Bilbo couldn't help but laugh. "You have to wait until he's ready to tell you."_

"_But why can't you do it?" Thorin asked._

"_I won't take his exciting news away from him," Bilbo shook his head. "One thing, though." Thorin raised a brow. "Don't be mad at him. It was my idea." _

_Thorin nodded his promise, though his eyes showing suspicion. He would do anything for his soulmate and his nephews._

* * *

><p><em>It was dark by the time that Kili actually got a chance to give his own news. "Uncle Haran has been teaching me weapons!" he shouted excitedly.<em>

_Fili frowned. "But your first sword lesson was supposed to be with me."_

"_We weren't learning swords," Kili shook his head. "I wouldn't learn swords without you, but Uncle Haran was showing me how to use…" Kili ran out of the room and returned with the practice bow that Bilbo had given him, "this!"_

"_Is that a bow?" Fili asked. He had heard of the weapon from Bilbo, but so few of the dwarves actually used it that he had never really seen it._

"_Yea!" Kili said. "Isn't it cool."_

"_Yea!" Fili agreed with a nod as he got closer to inspect it. _

"_You should learn the bow too!" Kili said._

"_That wouldn't be a good idea Kili," Bilbo shook his head and both boys looked up at him with wide eyes. They had never really done anything differently since Kili was born. "I mean that it is entirely possible for you both to learn the bow, but that sort of weapon is one that, in battle, you should have someone you trust there to protect you."_

"_I'll protect him," Fili said immediately. _

"_I know you will," Bilbo nodded, "but that's why you shouldn't worry about learning the bow. It would take too long for you to switch to the sword that you love so much to protect your brother."_

"_Kili and I could have my sword in one hand and a bow in the other," Fili said._

"_You need two hands to use a bow," Bilbo shook his head. "There is another long distance weapon that I could show you if you'd like."_

_Fili looked over at Kili who was looking somewhat confused. Bilbo could see that the older of the two understood his arguments, but the little one did not so he decided to continue._

"_If one of you focuses on a close range weapon and the other focuses on a long range weapon, then you shouldn't be separated in war." That made up their mind, but Bilbo had a little bit more incentive. "And you can each also learn the other's range of weaponry so you can protect each other when the other falls."_

"_Then why can't Fili learn the bow?" Kili asked._

"_He can," Bilbo replied. "But it would be better for him to learn a long range weapon that only requires one hand. You can abandon your bow when it is time for you to switch ranges, but your brother cannot abandon his sword."_

"_What if I learn two swords?" Fili asked. "That way I can protect Kili twice as hard."_

"_That's a good idea," Bilbo smiled. "Maybe you can get your Uncle Thorin to teach you to do that when he begins teaching Kili his sword." Everyone looked over at Thorin who, despite his slightly hesitant thoughtful look, nodded his head._

"_But then what will I learn while you teach Kili his bow?" Fili asked._

"_I can teach you to throw knives," Bilbo smiled. "That can be your long rage weapon."_

"_Okay!" the boys chimed together. That was enough to satisfy them so they immediately ran into the other room, leaving Bilbo to face Thorin and Dis._

"_What made you think to teach Kili the bow?" Thorin asked. _

"_He has good eyes," Bilbo shrugged, "and I knew that their dynamic would be perfect for it."_

"_But isn't that an elven weapon?" Dis asked. Bilbo would have said something against the insult that she had unintentionally brought up, but he knew that she was only worrying for how the other dwarves would react to it. Thorin was not so easily dissuaded since he knew that that had been a favorite of Bilbo's before his arm was rendered unusable._

"_It is," Bilbo replied before Thorin could say anything against his sister, "but even dwarves need to be able to use a long range weapon. In any war, he will be a great help to us all and the other dwarves will see that in time."_

* * *

><p>That time was here already, Bilbo realized, as all the dwarves counted on Kili to pull off his shot. Kili did not disappoint.<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

Unfortunately, that one arrow still wasn't enough to take down both a warg and an orc. The other dwarves immediately took down their attackers, but it was already too late. They had given away our position through all the noise that was made and Radagast had already disappeared. The only thing that was left for them was to run as fast as they could.

Kili continued to shoot any of the wargs that he could easily aim at while running, but it seemed that every time he hit one another few came to take it's place until they were surrounded.

"Where's Gandalf?" someone yelled and wasn't it just there luck that their wizard disappeared at that very moment.

Only, he didn't really disappear as only moments later the very wizard was coming out of a hole in the ground and calling to them to follow him back into it. Bilbo didn't have to be told twice. Haran may have been a powerful warrior, but he sure wasn't and, if he still wore boots as a Hobbit, he would have been quaking in them a long time ago.

Thorin was the last to slide into their safety amongst the rocks and it was only moments later that a somewhat familiar sound of a horn pierced the air and the orcs above them were distracted by "Elves," Thorin growled.

Bilbo never understood Thorin's dislike of the elves. He actually quite liked them. Well, he liked every elf except Thranduil. He just had a way of making people dislike him and he was slowly turning his son, Legolas to do the same. Every other elf, though, Bilbo had always gotten along with. He had even asked them to help him with learning how to use the bow.

* * *

><p>"<em>King Thror is heading to Rivendell to meet with the elves there," Bilbo's father told him suddenly when he came back from work one day.<em>

"_Are you going to be gone long?" Bilbo asked, knowing that there had to be a reason that his father told him this. Usually, he only told his older brother things of that nature and Bilbo had to find out on his own, which he understood since the business of royalty had to stay secret to keep royalty safe._

"_I want you to come with us," Vorin replied._

_Bilbo was shocked. His father had taken him around the royal halls several times, but he had never once suggested that he join the royal caravan. Especially not for such a long trip. _

"_I remember you wanted to learn the bow," Vorin continued rather awkwardly, "and I thought that you might ask the elves since I have no skill with it."_

_It was a consolation prize, then, for being rejected by Thorin. Still, he would take it. He had been trying to teach himself to use the bow for some time now and, though he had gotten rather good, he knew that there were several pointers that the elves would most likely be able to give him. _

"_I've already asked King Thror if it would be okay for me to bring you along and he agreed. Your mother was a bit harder to convince, but she understands my reasoning."_

"_When do we leave?" Bilbo asked with a grin. He was already thinking about all the things that he could learn from the elves._

"_We're leaving tomorrow."_

* * *

><p><em>He was not, however, expecting to see Prince Thorin standing grumpily next to his grandfather. Neither was his father, if Vorin's face was any indication. He glanced quickly over to Bilbo, but Bilbo just sighed and steeled himself for whatever happened. He would deal with the pain if it meant that he could go see the elves. Vorin understood his unspoken words and, with a respecting nod, he turned back to bow to the king. <em>

"_My son has decided to join us on this expedition," King Thror smiled, but the look on Thorin's face said that he hadn't done anything by choice. "It will be good for him to interact with the elves."_

"_Of course," Vorin smiled. "It's always good to learn these things early in life. My own son is very eager to speak with them."_

_Thorin's scowl got even worse as he glared at Bilbo who stood just behind and to the right of his father._

"_Yes," King Thror nodded. "You told me that he was eager to learn the bow."_

"_Why would anyone want to learn an elven weapon like that?" Thorin growled. King Thror glared at him, but he refused to take back his words._

"_To protect those we love," Bilbo replied. He didn't go any deeper than that, though, because none of the dwarves ever really understood his reasoning. They were the type of people that thought that, in order to protect the ones you love, you had to be right there next to them. Ready to jump in front if it ever came to that. Bilbo would do the same, but with the use of a bow he could protect them even when he got separated from them._

* * *

><p><em>When they arrived at Rivendell, Bilbo couldn't help but stare at everything in awe. He had never before seen any architecture other than that of the dwarves and the men of Dale and Rivendell truly was a splendid thing to behold.<em>

"_King Thror," an elf came to greet them with open and welcoming arms, "it is good to see you again."_

"_Very good indeed Lord Elrond," King Thror replied and their conversation continued for some time until finally Lord Elrond offered them dinner._

"_Lord Elrond," Vorin spoke up as he bowed slightly, though not as deep as he would to his own king, to the other just before they could head to the dinning room, "my son would like to beg a favor of you."_

_Lord Elrond looked over to Bilbo curiously and he bowed just as his father had. "I was hoping to ask some of your people to teach me how to use the bow if it is okay with you."_

"_Of course," Lord Elrond smiled. "My sons, Elladan and Elrohir, will be happy to teach you." The two twin siblings that stood just behind Lord Elrond smiled. "Perhaps after dinner you three can go into the gardens to practice."_

"_Thank you so much!" Bilbo grinned, bowing again in his gratitude. Then he turned to the twins and bowed to them. "I shall be ready to learn whenever the two of you will teach me."_

* * *

><p><em>And so, immediately after they ate, Bilbo followed Lord Elrond's twin sons out to the garden where a few targets had been set up while they ate.<em>

"_How much do you know?" one of the twins asked._

"_I've been teaching myself for quite some time," Bilbo shrugged, "so I'm not sure how much I know and how much I am completely doing wrong."_

"_Well there's only one way to find out," the twins said. "Take your position." Bilbo did so, though he neglected to pull out an arrow, knowing that they were going to have corrections to make. "Your stance isn't horrible," they said, "but it could be better if you had a proper bow. Where did you get that thing?"_

"_My people don't really use bows so I made this one for myself."_

"_The tensioning is all wrong," the twins complained as they took the bow from him, "and the wood doesn't bend correctly. You'll never shoot right with this thing. Here, try this one." They handed him a bow that had been laying nearby, probably because the elves who had been told to set up the targets didn't think that a dwarf would have his own, and he took up his stance once again. He almost broke the bow with how hard he was used to pulling on his own, but he quickly corrected himself. He could tell that it was really made for a younger elf, since it fit his stature rather well, but he wouldn't complain. "See," the twins said, "that's so much better. Bows aren't meant to use so much strength. They're agile."_

"_This is much better than my own," Bilbo agreed with a smile, "but I'm afraid that I should still learn using my bow so that I'll have it to use when I leave."_

"_Nonsense," the twins refused to give the bow back, holding it high up so that Bilbo couldn't get it even if he tried, which he didn't, "you can keep that bow. We have plenty to share."_

_Bilbo smiled happily._

"_Now for your stance," the twins shook their head. "It's still all wrong." They came forward and reached out to adjust his grip, but their hands were immediately ripped away before they even made contact._

"_Don't touch him," Thorin growled, standing between Bilbo and the twins. Bilbo hadn't even noticed that he was in the garden with them._

"_What do you think your doing?" Bilbo hissed at Thorin._

"_They were going to touch you," Thorin scowled, like that was all the explanation he needed. _

"_Yes," Bilbo scowled right back, "that's generally how people teach weaponry."_

"_How would you know? You've never learned any weapon besides the bow." Thorin spat out the word bow as though it was a foul word._

"_First of all," Bilbo hissed. "You don't even know me. Just because I choose not to use my weapons, doesn't mean I don't know how to. My father has trained me well. And second of all, you have no right to demand that people don't touch me."_

"_I am your intended," Thorin replied angrily._

"_And you have Rejected me," Bilbo's response was immediate. He had been trying to avoid the topic of Rejection, but his anger at Thorin made him bring it up nonetheless. "So I'm going to go back to my lessons where Elladan and Elrohir will teach me how to use the bow whether they have to touch me or not and you are either going to go somewhere else or sit there and not interfere with my business." He walked around Thorin, making sure not to touch the other, and faced the elves. "Now where were we?" he asked as he took up his position once more._

_The twins looked over to Thorin, but he only scowled at them before turning and stomping out of the garden._

* * *

><p>Even before the elves betrayed them, Thorin seemed to have a natural dislike of them that Bilbo would never understand. After the betrayal, Bilbo seemed to be the only one who still liked them, even if he absolutely despised King Thranduil.<p>

"I cannot see where the pathway leads. Do we follow it or no?" Dwalin calls out and Bofur immediately responds with a "Follow it of course!"

"I think that would be wise," Gandalf muttered. Bilbo couldn't help but feel that Gandalf was up to something.


	9. Chapter 9

And planning something he was, because right now the company was looking at "The Valley of Imladris," Gandalf explained. "In the common tongue it's known by another name."

"Rivendell." Thorin was not going to be happy about this, though Bilbo felt himself excited to be here again. He missed this beautiful place ever since he left it, but he still liked Erebor better. Still, had he had the chance to visit Rivendell again he would have.

Thorin started arguing with Gandalf about enemies, but Bilbo stopped listening. He just wanted to actually get to Rivendell. He might have headed that way without his company, had he known the way, but as it was he didn't even know the passage existed let alone the way into Rivendell from it.

"The only ill will to be found in this valley is that which you bring yourself." Gandalf's words caught Bilbo's attention even though he continued to marvel at the beautiful sight. He couldn't help but to think about how true they were, but Thorin was always the one that was bringing ill will wherever he went. You could hardly make him stop for the simple fact that it was his personality to act that way around anyone that he didn't trust. As evident by the way he had been treating Bilbo who was in his own company.

Gandalf does eventually convince Thorin, not that they had much other choice, and then he lead the way down the path, which Bilbo probably could have followed on his own, until they reached a circular greeting area. It was even more beautiful than Bilbo remembered it being. The dwarves, of course, didn't think so, but Bilbo ignored their glowering faces in favor of taking in the scenery. He did, however, see Ori looking rather interestedly around him. At least there was one dwarf who still didn't carry ill will towards the elf. It was probably because he was young. Bilbo might have expected Fili and Kili to be similarly unaffected by the past, since they were even younger than Ori, but he held no hope for that because they were Thorin Oakenshield's nephews.

An elf came to meet them, Bilbo thought he remembered his name being Lindir but he hadn't really interacted with that elf in his past life, and welcomed Gandalf. And then he proceeded to tell them that Lord Elrond wasn't there. That was a shame. Bilbo would have liked to speak with the man again. He hadn't really talked to him much in his past life, but he knew that Lord Elrond was a good elf. That was enough to warrant a desire to speak to someone of his past if ever there was one.

Perhaps there was a possibility of speaking to him after all, Bilbo realized, as the elves' horns signaled their return. On big horses. Bilbo didn't remember those horses being so big last time he was here, but then again he was bigger himself. And a lot stronger.

Bilbo expected for the dwarves to do something stupid like closing ranks, it was expected as creatures bigger than them came charging towards them, but he really wasn't expecting to be pulled into the center of the group with Fili and Kili. Shouldn't that have been Thorin's place? But stubborn Thorin always had to be on the front line. Luckily, he was still tall enough to see Lord Elrond over the dwarves' shoulders as he conversed with Gandalf. The elf hadn't changed, though Bilbo shouldn't have really expected much else.

"Welcome Thorin, son of Thrain," Elrond said as Thorin stepped forward.

"I do not believe we have met," Thorin replied and Bilbo had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. Did Thorin really have to let his pride get in the way of common courtesy by pretending not to remember the elf? Honestly, it hadn't been long enough for Thorin to forget their time in Rivendell.

"You have your grandfather's bearing," Elrond said. "I knew Thror when he ruled under the mountain." As well as Thorin no matter how hard Thorin tried to pretend otherwise.

Then he goes and insults the elf. If Bilbo had been Haran, he would have been telling Thorin off by now. He might have even hit him, if his words didn't get through that thick skull, but Thorin did not know him in this life well enough to allow that, so he was forced to stand there and watch his king make a full of himself by pretending not to know an elf.

Especially when Lord Elrond responds with an offer to bring them to dinner. Bilbo really wanted to apologize to the Lord, in elven tongue so the dwarves wouldn't know what he was saying, but he highly doubted the dwarves would like him any more if he revealed he had that knowledge. Thorin certainly wasn't happy when he found out the first time.

* * *

><p>"You really are improving,"<em> the twins said in their elven tongues. They had reverted to their own language when they learned that Bilbo knew how to speak it and had continued to do so no matter what they were doing. <em>"You're already almost an expert."

"_Are you offering us insult?" Thorin growled. It was the first time he had joined them since the first fiasco where he tried to get in Bilbo's way. Bilbo really wished he had continued to stay away so he would stop making a fool of himself._

"_No, Prince Thorin, they were offering a compliment to my skills with a bow," Bilbo sighed. _

"_How do you know that?" Thorin bristled._

"_I speak Sindarin," Bilbo shrugged. He liked books and he wanted to be able to read anything no matter what language it was in so he learned the only good language that he didn't know. He would never even attempt to learn orc language, of course, but there were no books in that language so it didn't matter. It was rather difficult to teach himself the language, but he had found some books on it in Dale and had used others that were written both in Sindarin and Westron to improve further. There were still a few things that he didn't quite get right, but the twins were fixing that at the same time they were fixing his archery techniques._

"_Why?" Thorin growled._

"_Because I wanted to learn," Bilbo replied._

"Is it illegal to learn Sindarin in your culture?" _the elves asked._

"No," _Bilbo shook his head, _"It's just not something that's usually done for anyone who is not of the Durin line." _And the only reason that the Durin line did it was because it was only respectful to be able to converse with those that you were having meetings with. The royal elves might have learned their language as well, if the dwarves didn't always keep it so secret._

"_Speak words we can all understand," Thorin growled. Bilbo couldn't help but think that the only thing Thorin needed to complete his look of a spoiled child was for him to stomp his foot. Of course, Thorin would never do something so undignified._

"_They were asking why you're so angry about something that I chose to learn," Bilbo answered. "Aren't you supposed to learn it too at some point in the future?" Actually, Bilbo was pretty sure that Thorin had already started his lessons, though he was still in the basics, but was having a tough time getting even that down. Bilbo would offer his services on the matter if he thought Thorin would actually accept them. _

"_Only because it is tradition," Thorin glowered. Bilbo had no doubt about that statement, but only because he knew Thorin was having trouble with the language._

"_Why don't you start learning now?" the twins asked with mischievous grins on their faces. Bilbo had to hold back his own grin. He had learn through the short amount of time that he had been with the twins that they were troublemakers, and they had obviously picked up on Thorin's resentment towards the language that he couldn't learn. Bilbo, however, wouldn't let them make fun of his intended._

"_There's a proper order to these things," he shook his head at the twins. "_Prince _Thorin," he put emphasis on the prince so maybe the twins might show a little respect towards his intended, "will learn Sindarin when his teachers deem it the right time and not before or it might corrupt the knowledge that he's learning now." Not likely, but a good excuse nonetheless. And also one that Thorin would hopefully not take as a challenge to prove him wrong. _

_The twins eyes glimmered with the intent to push Thorin, but Bilbo distracted them by letting loose another arrow and Thorin stalked off immediately afterwards._

* * *

><p>"<em>Why did you learn that language?" Thorin glowered when they saw each other later that day. They were alone as they had been a couple of times while they were there. Bilbo had the sneaking suspicion that King Thror was trying to force them together so that Thorin would accept his intended, but he wouldn't bring it up because he wanted the same thing even though he had little hope for it.<em>

_As luck would have it, they happened to be in the library, so Bilbo picked a book carefully out of the large collection and put it down on the table in front of Thorin. It was actually one that he had just finished reading in the free time that he had there. He liked to spend any time that wasn't used practicing archery, to read since there weren't very many Sindarin books where he lived no matter how hard he looked for them. "This book has never been translated into anything other than Sindarin."_

"_So?" Thorin raised a brow._

"_I just finished reading it," Bilbo replied, "and I enjoyed it very much."_

"_Why would you want to read something written by those tree-huggers?" Thorin glared at the book before him, so Bilbo took it and replaced it just in case Thorin thought to do something to harm it. _

"_Why are you so against them?" Bilbo asked. "They have done nothing to you."_

"_You've never had to deal with them until now," Thorin pointed out with a growl. "Those stuck up bastards don't deserve anything from me."_

"_I haven't," Bilbo agreed, "but imagine how you look to them right now."_

"_What do you mean," Thorin snarled._

"_By the way you're acting, you seem more like a spoiled child than a proud prince to me and I actually know you as my prince. I'm rather sure the twins had no clue you were the prince until I mentioned it earlier today."_

"_How dare you!"_

"_Honestly. You threw a fit because I could speak to the elves in their own language. Just because you have trouble grasping the language, doesn't mean you should take it out on those who don't."_

"_You knew?" Thorin's eyes widened._

"_Of course I knew," Bilbo replied. "You recognized some of the words, though you couldn't put them together in a sentence. From what I saw, you are only just learning the basics of Sindarin."_

"_That is none of your concern."_

"_Of course it's not, but if you should need any help in the future, I will be happy to help you."_

"_I don't need your help," Thorin growled before stomping out of the room._

"_Of course you don't," Bilbo sighed. He would have loved for Thorin to swallow his pride for just long enough to accept help from his intended, but the prince was still so against him that there was no chance of that. Bilbo was already losing all hope that the prince would ever accept him despite his grandfather's attempts at getting them together._

* * *

><p>It looked like the dwarves' Sindarin was still severely lacking as Gloin, who was an accountant and probably should have known at least a little of the language, asked if Lord Elrond was offering them insult. Really, what was it with the dwarves and assuming that elves were always insulting them? It was usually the other way around.<p>

Gandalf quickly fixed there blunder; luckily as it would have been very rude to not accept due to such a misunderstanding, and the group was lead inside where they would be fed.


	10. Chapter 10

Or maybe it would have been so much better for them not to eat at the elves' table. None of these dwarves seemed to have any sort of manners. They could do nothing but complain about the generosity of the elves. Bilbo actually quite liked the food and the music that they were offered, but the rest of the dwarves were so put out by it that Bofur actually climbed up onto something that looked like it might be sacred and started singing a tune that was better suited for a tavern. Honestly, they wouldn't act like this if they were at their own king's table.

Bilbo was only all too glad when the meal was finally over and the dwarves separated so that most of them could make camp while Thorin and Balin went to have a conference with Lord Elrond. For a moment Bilbo wondered which group he should follow, but then Gandalf motioned for him to come with them and he was only all too glad to follow. Even if he didn't speak, he had always joined Thorin in his meetings.

* * *

><p>"<em>I have a meeting today, love," Thorin woke him with a kiss that morning. He didn't have to go to very many meetings as he was still the third in line to the thrown, but King Thror thought the best way to get him ready for his own throne was to have him practice early. Not to mention the fact that it got a lot more meetings done a lot quicker. <em>

"_I'll get dressed," Bilbo yawned even as he turned to bury his face back in the pillows. He had never been explicitly told to join Thorin in any of his meetings, but he enjoyed them anyway and had gone to every one that he was able to after Thorin had accepted him. _

"_You don't have to come today, if you're so tired," Thorin laughed. "Why don't you sleep and I'll be back by lunch?"_

"_I'm getting up," Bilbo mumbled as he pushed himself up in his bed. He was never really a morning person. He would much rather stay up at night reading a good book next to the fire than wake up at the crack of dawn. Thorin was a night person too, he knew, but he was much better at pulling himself out of bed when he was supposed. _

_Thorin gave Bilbo an amused smile as he kissed away the tired look on Bilbo's face. It was always the best way to wake up, Bilbo smiled, and it was worth having trouble waking up in the morning if Thorin always woke him up like that. "I'll have to redo your hair before we go." Thorin grabbed one of his braids and it almost immediately fell apart. Bilbo always did have the worst bed head and it continually ruined his hair, but it also continually made Thorin spend time to redo them. Not that either of them really cared. It gave them an excuse to be a little lazy every morning. _

"_You already did your hair," Bilbo pouted._

"_Yea," Thorin nodded, "the meeting today is a little earlier than we are used to. We wouldn't have time to do both of our hair. You can redo mine tomorrow." Thorin's hair was different from Bilbo's in the sense that it kept its braids a lot longer than his did. The only reason they redid Thorin's braids as often as they did was because Bilbo enjoyed doing it._

* * *

><p><em>By the time Thorin had finished Bilbo's hair and the two of them had gotten dressed in their royal garbs, it was almost an hour later, but they were still early so the two of them went to the kitchens where the cooks made them something to eat.<em>

_Thorin's clothes weren't much different from what he normally wore. He had on a purple shirt, as opposed to the blue ones that he normally favored, because it was the color of royalty, but he wore his normal breaches and boots. The fur coat that he wore was a little more extravagant and a lot less worn than the one he wore on a regular basis and it was clasped together with a large gold necklace adorned with several jewels. And, of course, his sword was resting on his hip so that he would never lose his appearance of being a warrior. _

_The main difference, however, was the crown atop his head. He almost never wore that crown, even for royal events where he wore the rest of his clothes because all his people knew he was royalty and there was no need for anyone other than the king to wear a crown. It was a relatively plain crown, of course, as it couldn't be more extravagant than either his father's or his grandfather's crowns, but it fit him. _

_Bilbo on the other hand, was dressed in the best clothing and several things of jewelry. Both of which he would never wear at any time it wasn't necessary. He had quickly found out that royalty liked to show off their wealth by how well their mate looked because they couldn't weigh themselves down when they had to be ready to head into battle at any time. He didn't mind much. The only things that had bothered him at first was the weight and how cumbersome it all was since he was also a warrior, but he had quickly gotten over it when he found several places to hide his knives. _

_Bilbo's actual clothes were actually that extravagant. He wore an outfit very similar to Thorin's, though his fur coat wasn't nearly as big as the other's. The wealth was shown in all the jewelry that he wore. He had both lose and tight bracelets scattered over his clothing on the lengths of both arms. There was a ring on every finger, though most were all very small as Bilbo refused to render his hands useless with the cumbersome things. The only one that he allowed to have a large jewel adorned on it was the ring that sat on his left ring finger. It was also the only ring that he would never take off. There were also a few necklaces of different lengths on his neck, but not too much to look gaudy. The one good thing about Thorin's tastes was that he never allowed the gold to be so overpowering. He always stopped right on the edge of being too much, but he never continued past it so Bilbo always looked perfect. As the hobbit that he was now, he would be swimming in it all, but his __dwarvish form was much bigger and so it fit him nicely._

_Bilbo's crown, which was more like a circlet than anything, was a weave of gold that wrapped around his head and connected at a beautiful white jewel that dipped a bit lower on his forehead. The real extravagance, however, was in Bilbo's hair. His long brown hair was beautifully weaved in braids that showed off both what he had achieved in his life and made him much more attractive in the dwarven culture. His hair was the only thing other than his ring that he wore that extravagantly at all times. Thorin liked doing his hair and it was always different. Though there were braids that he always wore, the ones that showed what he had achieved, the actual style and number of the braids always changed depending on Thorin's mood for that day. He never had the same hairdo twice in one month and only the ones that the both of them really liked were ever repeated. This particular design, which was a little more complicated than Thorin usually did, was a slight variation of one that he had worn the month before and the only reason it was the same was because they had to be on time for the meeting. Each braid was adorned with Thorin's hand crafted beads with different designs on them. Very few of them actually had jewels in them, but that was how Bilbo liked it. _

"_You look lovely today," one of the cooks complimented Bilbo as he set their food before them. There was a time that Thorin would have scowled at the other, but when he realized that Bilbo liked the praise, he stopped being so overtly jealous around his own kind. Any other race still couldn't compliment him without Thorin sending them a dirty look, but that was because most of them didn't know that Bilbo was Thorin's consort and were actually checking him out. Sometimes even in a disrespectful way. Bilbo liked to try to stay out of the public eye as much as possible, so even some of his own race didn't know that he was married to Thorin, but that was exactly how he liked it. He would join Thorin in his kingly duties, but there was no way that he was going to flaunt his luck of being the soul mate of a royal. He actually rather liked being a commoner, thank you very much. _

"_Thank you," Bilbo replied and the cook took a quick bow before heading back to the kitchens to work on breakfast for anyone else who should come asking for it._

* * *

><p>"<em>Balin is to meet us at the conference room," Thorin said once they had finished their meal.<em>

"_Oh thank goodness," Bilbo smiled. "Negotiations always seem to go better with him there."_

"_Are you saying that I can't negotiate?" Thorin pretended to look affronted. They both knew that the both of them were actually very good negotiators, but Balin was older and often gave off the kind uncle that everyone could trust when things got heated._

"_You're absolutely horrible," Bilbo sighed sarcastically. "I honestly don't know how we ever manage to get a good deal when you're the one in charge of negotiations."_

"_Hey!" Thorin growled._

"_Don't worry love," Bilbo smiled and paused in his walking just long enough to lean up and give Thorin a kiss on the cheek. "You'll do fine this time…Since Balin's going to be there."_

"_Aye," Balin said from where he stood outside the door to the conference room. "I'll make sure the both of you stay on track."_

_Bilbo grinned at Balin while Thorin rolled his eyes before the two of them readied schooled their expressions into that of the regal dwarves that they were. First impressions were always very important during a meeting. They didn't want the other party to think that they weren't being serious._

* * *

><p>Bilbo doesn't even remember what that meeting was about. He doesn't even remember whom the meeting was with, but he didn't really care at this point. He was supposed to be paying attention as Lord Elrond read the ancient dwarvish on the map. Bilbo envied the elf for his skill. Ancient Dwarvish was the only language of the people of middle earth that Bilbo never learned to read and that was because it was already a dead language in his own culture. He could probably have asked one of the elves to teach him, but he was already learning the bow from them and he didn't want to inconvenience them anymore.<p>

Apparently, even if he could read the runes, he still wouldn't have known what the important part said because it was written in moon runes. Bilbo had heard of that before as he was reading books, but he never understood how or why anybody used it. Now he was starting to get an inkling of why since the only time he had ever seen it done was on a map that told of a secret way into the mountain. They wouldn't want that to get into the wrong hands, even if they couldn't read ancient dwarvish.

Lord Elrond led them to the edge of a cliff where he read what was written and effectively gave them a time line. "Durin's day?" Bilbo asked. That meant they were quickly running out of time. As Gandalf, who misunderstood Bilbo's question, explained, Durin's day was the last day of autumn and Thorin only solidified their necessity for haste when he reminded them all that they were already well through the summer. They still had a long way to go too.

"We still have time," Balin pointed out and, though Bilbo never thought he would say this about Balin, it was the stupidest thing that could have been said. They were trying to keep their quest a secret from the elves. They were already suspicious enough without these mistimed words.

"Time?" Bilbo asked, hoping that Balin would get the hint and change the subject to something else. "For what?" Bilbo's hope was ill placed. The dwarves were much too excited to be worried about what they were giving away.

"To find the entrance." Still, Bilbo never thought he would see Balin make such a slip during a meeting where the information that was supposed to be held back was just as important as the information what was shared.


	11. Chapter 11

AN: I just wanted to let you know that I have the extended edition of the first hobbit movie so some of the scenes such as the one in this chapter are from that. I'll try to be more detailed when those scenes come up for those of you who haven't seen the extended edition and I'm sorry if I accidentally overlook one. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter.

* * *

><p>Rivendell. It was nice to be able to see them once again. He had always loved the pictures of them as a hobbitling and, as his memories returned, he now realized it was because he thought they were beautiful as a dwarf. He loved to explore the place all the time when he came to visit.<p>

* * *

><p>"Off to explore again?" <em>the twins asked in their elvish tongues.<em>

_Bilbo nodded. "Today is our last day," he said. He couldn't really be bothered to speak elvish at the moment. Especially not when Thorin was in the vicinity. He had finally convinced the other to join him on a walk around Rivendell and he wasn't going to ruin it by making Thorin think that he was insulting him in a tongue he didn't understand. There was nothing he could do about the twins, of course, but Thorin could at least tell what their conversation was about by Bilbo's side. "I want to take in as much as I can before we have to leave tomorrow at dawn."_

"Do not get lost," _the twins winked playfully. They knew that Bilbo didn't need any sort of directions, hadn't since they first showed him around, but they always teased him anyway. Dwarves did have a hard time above ground, but that didn't mean that they always got lost. "If we do not see you again before you leave," the twins spoke in the common tongue now, "we wish you both well."_

"_And I you," Bilbo nodded at them. He thought about elbowing Thorin in order to make him return the sentiment to them, but he didn't really think that would go over well. It would also lessen the twins' respect for Thorin and he would not be the cause of that. Besides, it didn't seem to be necessary as Bilbo turned to find Thorin bowing respectfully at Lord Elrond's sons._

"_So where do you want to go first?" Bilbo asked once the two of them were alone. He was a little too excited, this was the first time that he was actually going to be able to spend time with his soul mate despite the Rejection, but he thought it was justified. He just had to make sure that he never touched Thorin during the whole thing. _

"_I don't care," Thorin said gruffly. "You're the one who's dragging me around."_

_Bilbo frowned. He knew that King Thror had made Thorin join him today, but he didn't want the other to be in a horrible mood the whole time they were exploring. He kind of wanted to pretend that Thorin actually wanted to spend time with him. He would just have to think of something that Thorin would actually enjoy going to see. _

_And then he remembered the display for the sword of Narsil. He knew that Thorin didn't much care for the history of anyone other than his own kind, but everyone knew the story of Isildur and he had no doubt that Thorin would enjoy looking at weapons and paintings of a battle. "This way then."_

* * *

><p><em>The display wasn't hard to find. The elves paid more respect to it than even the humans did, but the elves also had a better memory. On the walk to the display room, Thorin didn't seem to care at all what Bilbo was telling him about the structures around them. It was starting to make Bilbo feel rather strained, but he didn't want to stop. He wouldn't let Thorin know what pain he was causing him with the Rejection. It was only when they actually reached the room, that Thorin finally seemed to take interest in something. <em>

"_It's Narsil," Bilbo said when Thorin approached the shattered weapon._

_Thorin reached out to touch the weapon, but immediately thought better of it. There was no way that he was going to ruin a relic just from the desire to touch a well-crafted sword. It wasn't the first well-crafted sword he had seen, but it was the only one that had cut Sauron's finger clean off his hand. _

"_They have paintings of the battle too," Bilbo pointed out. The main one, of course, was the one that depicted the moment before Isildur cut the finger off his enemy, but there were others scattered around the room as well of different, more minor, heroes who fought particularly well during the battle. _

"_Why did you bring me here?" Thorin asked without looking up from his examination of the destroyed weapon. _

"_I thought that you might like it," Bilbo shrugged. He was beginning to doubt his choice, though. Thorin didn't seem to be in a better mood at all. He actually seemed to be even more upset, though Bilbo had no clue why._

"_You're right," Thorin nodded. That just confused Bilbo. How could he be right about Thorin liking something like this and yet still have upset the other? No matter how much he tried, he still couldn't understand his soul mate. _

"_Let's go somewhere else," Bilbo tried. "Maybe you'll find something else that you like." But he highly doubted it. The elves held almost no interest to Thorin. Only their weapons ever caught Thorin's eye and there weren't many of those in this place of piece. Bilbo hadn't even found any sort of armory and he had practically explored the entirety of the place._

* * *

><p><em>Bilbo took Thorin through the entirety of Rivendell. Over bridges. Near waterfalls. Everything that Thorin had never seen before. Yet, none of it caught Thorin's attention nearly as much as the sword of Narsil had. He almost thought about taking them back to it for that very reason, but changed his mind at the last moment and took them to a veranda that overlooked much of what they had just travelled through. The air was nice there and it calmed him, but only slightly. Even he had no clue that this whole trip could hurt him so much.<em>

"_Are we done?" Thorin asked gruffly._

"_Yes," Bilbo sighed. "I'm sorry it wasn't as interesting for you as I'd hoped it would be."_

"_I don't care for these elvish trinkets," Thorin replied. The sound actually shocked Bilbo. He had expected Thorin to be on his way the moment Bilbo told him they were done. Bilbo nodded, nonetheless, though. There was nothing else for him to say. He had tried to strike up a conversation while they walked together and it still wasn't enough, so now he just stood looking out over Rivendell. Thorin, surprisingly, stood with him for some time before he finally excused himself to go and meet with his grandfather. _

_Bilbo sighed in relief when he was left alone, which he hated because he really wanted to spend more time with Thorin. Maybe there was still a chance he could make Thorin love him if he got enough time to spend with the other, but every moment spent with Thorin was more painful to him than he would have thought possible. _

_He would tough it up, though. There was no way that he was going to give up on his soul mate._

* * *

><p>Bilbo followed the same route that he had taken Thorin on. He started with the display room for the sword of Narsil, but he found that it held even less interest to him then it had when he saw it as a dwarf. The only thing that he saw in it now was that for some reason it had made Thorin upset. That was enough to dislike it despite it being a sword from the history books that Bilbo had always loved so much.<p>

Then Bilbo moved over bridges and near waterfalls. The walk, Bilbo realized somewhat belatedly, was much better when he wasn't thinking about how Thorin would react to every little thing. Bilbo saw birds flying now, when before he only heard them when he looked for something that Thorin might be interested in. He was able to stop and take in the scenery instead of continually moving so that Thorin wouldn't get bored. He would have very much liked to take Thorin on this tour after he had accepted him. He knew the two of them would have enjoyed it together, though Thorin would have been a bit bored. But he had never gotten the chance.

Finally, Bilbo came to the veranda that looked over all of Rivendell. It was just as beautiful as the last time he had seen it and the breeze was just as calming. He really needed this moment of peace.

Suddenly, he heard someone come up behind him and for one stupid moment he thought it might be Thorin, but the footsteps were too light for that to be the case.

"Not with your companions?" Lord Elrond asked as he came to stand beside him.

It took a moment for Bilbo to regain his bearings. Just the thought of Thorin finding him there had him somewhat at a loss. "I shan't be missed," he said finally. "The truth is that most of them don't think I should be…on this journey." Bilbo's voice caught for a short second. He knew that the other dwarves didn't exactly accept him, how could they when they thought that he was just some hobbit that Gandalf had forced on them, but admitting it out loud did hurt somewhat.

"Indeed," Lord Elrond replied. "I've heard that Hobbits are very resilient."

Bilbo couldn't help the chuckle that escaped him, but then he looked over to the other and saw that he was actually being serious. Who in their company would actually say something like that to an elf? Besides Gandalf. Actually, Gandalf was the only one, but it was still kind of hard to believe that any of them had gone out of their way to compliment him. "Really?"

Lord Elrond nodded slightly before he continued. "I've also heard that they are fond of the comforts of home," he raised his brows.

Bilbo thought turnabout was only fair play so he responded with, "I've heard that it is unwise to seek the council of elves, for they will answer both yes and no." He almost regretted saying that, though, when Lord Elrond didn't immediately respond, but then a small grin hit his face and Bilbo knew that he hadn't offended the other.

"You are very welcome to stay here," Lord Elrond said after a moment, "if that is your wish, but I don't think that you will."

"Excuse me?" Bilbo asked.

"You are heading home are you not?" Lord Elrond asked.

"No," Bilbo shook his head. "I intend to accompany the dwarves to the Lonely Mountain."

"Is that not your home?" Bilbo was at a loss for words at this. How in the world did Lord Elrond know about that? Perhaps it was just a fluke or something that the elf thought might come to pass in the future. "We live for many years," Lord Elrond continued with a different subject, "but our soul mates don't. We know how to recognize someone who remembers a past life."

"Oh," Bilbo looked down at his hands. He probably should have realized that. "Please don't tell them. I don't want them to look at me differently."

"I won't," Lord Elrond shook his head, "but you should. It is unfair to you that you should have to bare this alone."

"I don't want them to look at me differently," Bilbo repeated. "I want to be worthy of their Haran before I tell them."

"There is something that you must know about past lives," Lord Elrond said. "No matter how hard you try, you cannot be the person you once were. It is best for you to remain as the person you are."

"They don't even like the person I am now," Bilbo shook his head.

"You will see before the end," Lord Elrond promised. "I wish you well, Bilbo Baggins."

"Thank you," Bilbo bowed politely as Lord Elrond left him to himself.


	12. Chapter 12

The dwarves were cooking some food when Bilbo returned, including meat that he wasn't even sure where they got it, but he wasn't interested. He was just fine with the food that the elves had given them in their hospitality. He had always been despite the rest of his dwarven companions on both of his trips being so averse to it. It's not like they didn't eat plants all the time while they were journeying, they just cooked it slightly differently.

Instead of joining the rowdy group, Bilbo headed up the stairs towards the guest room that the elves had given them to share. The dwarves, of course, had refused and slept in their bedrolls at the bottom of the stairs so Bilbo got the room to himself, but he wasn't really complaining about it. Sometimes it was nice to get away from all of their boisterousness. He was still a hobbit, after all, and hobbits loved peace and quiet.

Bilbo stopped on his way, though, when he heard Gandalf's voice echoing from a walkway nearby. "Of course I was going to tell you," he was saying. "I was merely waiting for there to be a chance. And, really, I think you can trust that I know what I'm doing."

Bilbo thought it was best not to listen in on the conversation and he started to turn in order to head to the room, but he was caught by Lord Elrond's response. "Do you? That dragon has slept for sixty years. What will happen if your plan should fail? If you wake the beast?" That was a good point. Bilbo unconsciously moved a bit closer so that he could hear their conversation a little better.

"But if we succeed," Gandalf replied. "If the dwarves take back the mountain, our defenses in the east will be strengthened." Of course Gandalf had ulterior motives for helping them, but to hear them from his own lips was almost discomforting. It made Bilbo doubt, even if only a bit, that Gandalf was truly in this for the dwarves. He still trusted Gandalf, of course. He had every faith that the wizard would not let them down.

"It is a dangerous move, Gandalf."

"It is also dangerous to do nothing. Oh come on. The throne of Erebor is Thorin's birthright." Bilbo suddenly felt that he was no longer alone and he turned to fine the very dwarf that they were speaking of standing behind him, listening to the conversation as well. He didn't look affected by anything they were saying, which was probably good. "What is it you fear?"

"Have you forgotten?" Elrond almost hissed, pulling Bilbo's attention back to him. "A strain of madness runs deep in that family." Okay, Bilbo really shouldn't be hearing this even if he already knew all about it. He tried to turn away again, but that didn't stop him from continuing to hear what Lord Elrond was saying. "His grandfather lost his mind. His father succumbed to the same sickness. Can you swear Thorin Oakenshield will not also fall?" Bilbo wished that he could swear for Thorin Oakenshield, but he had seen the sickness in King Thror.

* * *

><p>"<em>There is something wrong with the king," Bilbo said once the two of them were alone in their room. He needed to say these words, but he would not disrespect the king by saying them where they could be overheard by anyone. <em>

"_What are you talking about?" Thorin asked as he began to undress out of all of his royal clothing. They had earlier had a meeting with the elves that Thorin had to be present at. A meeting that had not gone well at all._

"_Didn't you see him during the meeting?" Bilbo asked. There was no way that he was going to let Thorin get away with ignoring the strange way the king was acting. "He was much too pleased when we denied the elves their payment."_

"_They stole from us," Thorin pointed out._

"_I'm not arguing that point," for the simple reason that he wasn't sure that he really believed it to be anything more than a ruse cooked up by the warping mind of a respected king. "I am talking about the look on his face when we kept the jewels. That's not even talking about the growing treasury of the royal line."_

"_We are just getting more money coming in."_

"_And we should be using that money to help the people in anyway that we can no matter how small it is. What use do we have for such a horde? We're going to bring horrible things to our doorstep."_

"_What do you want me to do about it?" Thorin asked frustratedly. _

"_I want you to stop making yourself blind to your grandfather's Gold Lust," Bilbo burst out, but then he immediately sat down and buried his head in his hands. He hadn't meant to yell. _

_Thorin immediately wrapped Bilbo in his arms with a worried look on his face. "What's really bothering you? I understand what you're saying about my grandfather, but that can't be the only thing that is worrying you." _

"_I think it's the Arkenstone," Bilbo sighed. "Ever since that _thing _has been found, our king has started to act strangely."_

"_That is the King's Jewel, Haran," Thorin said. His voice was soothing, but his words were not. "I'm sure you are mistaken."_

"_I am not mistaken," Bilbo broke free from Thorin's arms immediately and began to pace through their room. He would not allow himself to be comforted until he got his point across. "And, if you do not see that, then you will fall to the same sickness. I don't want to see that happen."_

"_I won't fall to Gold Lust, my One," Thorin said. _

"_You might not have a choice with that _thing _on your throne."_

"_I promise you that I will not fall to Gold Lust," Thorin shook his head. "I promise."_

"_I don't believe you," Bilbo shook his head. "You might not have a choice."_

"_I promise," Thorin said again. "With you by my side, I will never need any sort of jewel or gold anyway." Thorin stepped forward and caught Bilbo in his arms once more. "I promise."_

* * *

><p>Thorin had been so earnest when he had made that promise, and yet, Bilbo still had a hard time believing it. He would have been much happier if the Arkenstone would just disappear.<p>

"Gandalf, these decisions do not rest with you alone. It is not up to you or me to redraw the map of Middle Earth."

That's was the last thing that Bilbo heard as he completely turned away at that point. He would not listen to this conversation anymore. He really shouldn't have been listening in the first place, really, but he couldn't really help it. He was half Took.

When he turned, he found Thorin facing away with his head bowed. "Are you okay Thorin?" Bilbo asked.

"I'm fine," Thorin shook himself.

"What were they talking about?" Bilbo only asked because he wanted it to seem that he didn't already know, but he immediately regretted it when Thorin glared angrily at him.

"It's nothing," Thorin growled. "Forget it."

Bilbo nodded. He really didn't really want to hear it anyway. He already knew the answers to any questions that he might have asked if he didn't know.

"Pack your things," Thorin continued. "We're going to head out."

"I haven't unpacked," Bilbo pointed out. That was the good thing about accepting the hospitality of others: Bilbo didn't have to unpack any of his things to live comfortably when the dwarves had to unpack almost everything. That had been one of his reasons for trying to get the dwarves to sleep in the offered guest room, but they had refused adamantly despite his efforts. Now he was ready to go even though they were not and he would have to wait for them.

Thorin looked disdainfully over at him, but didn't saying anything as he walked down to give the same command to his kin. Bilbo simply went up to the guest room to grab his things. He could still get his time alone while he waited for the others to pack their things at least. Maybe he could remember something good while he waited.

* * *

><p>"<em>There's two little dwarflings around here somewhere," Bilbo said playfully. In fact, he already knew where they were, but he didn't want to ruin their game of hide and seek by finding them too quickly. It was a bit hard to avoid finding them, though. There was only one place that the two of them could hide together in this room and Fili and Kili were never separated. Instead of finding them under the table, though, Bilbo searched in the oddest places where not even Kili, who was still very small compared to the other dwarf children, could fit. He could hear muffled giggles coming from the table, but he pretended not to so that he it wouldn't "lead" him to their hiding place.<em>

_It was for that reason that he was not expecting it when two warm and very familiar arms came around him and lips kissed his uninjured cheek. He was so surprised by it that he almost pulled his sword on his own soul mate. Luckily, Thorin had known it would happen and so had gone for the sword just before Bilbo did. "It's alright, my One," he said. "Dis and I are back."_

"_Don't sneak up on me like that," Bilbo shook his head as he turned to face Thorin. Both Thorin and Dis had gone out for a hunt while Bilbo stayed to protect the children and he took that job very seriously. He even kept the sword, which usually rested at his home, strapped to his side when they were in his charge. "I'm already have children in my care."_

"_I'm sorry," Thorin laughed, looking not at all sorry._

"_Speaking of my sons," Dis said with a raised brow, "where are they?" She knew where they were, Bilbo could tell. There hiding spot wasn't actually that hidden at all, but it seems she wished to play along with the game as well._

"_I'm afraid they disappeared on me," Bilbo sighed over-exaggeratedly. "I'm just not a good enough seeker."_

"_Oh dear," Dis gasped, though she was having a very hard time keeping the smirk on her face in check. _

"_Perhaps we should just have dinner without them," Thorin suggested, "and we even got the best meats for dinner."_

"_No!" Fili gasped as both he and Kili scrambled out from their hiding places. That was a bad move, since Thorin immediately scooped them both up._

"_Gotcha," he growled playfully as he tickled the two of them. _

"_I hope the two of you were good for your uncle," Dis said. _

"_Yes ma'am," Fili said immediately and Bilbo nodded to confirm it._

"_Then we will have to award you for being so good," Dis said. "I'll make something sweet to eat after dinner." The two young ones cheered immediately and Dis set about doing just that._

* * *

><p>Those had been better days, Bilbo believed, more so than even the time in Erebor because there was nothing that could possibly tempt his soul mate away from him. It wasn't that he didn't want to return to Erebor, it was their home, but he just found that most of his happiest memories were actually in the Blue Mountains with his family together. He couldn't wait to make those same types of memories when they returned to Erebor.<p>

"We're leaving." Bilbo's head shot up to find Thorin glaring at him through the doorway and he sighed before grabbing his things and following his king out of Rivendell.

* * *

><p>AN: I just wanted let you guys know that the conversation with Lord Elrond and Gandalf is in the extended edition of the movie, but the conversation with Bilbo and Thorin afterwards is not.<p>

I also wanted to say that I thought this chapter was a bit short so I added an extra little memory in, but if you don't like that or if it confused you in anyway, please let me know and I will try to refrain from doing it in the future.

Thank you all for reading. I love you all.


	13. Chapter 13

It was a full two days before anything eventful happened again and it wasn't even anything that big. It was simply that Bilbo happened to trip when they were traversing an extra rock area and had bumped right into Bofur who fell right on top of Nori. There was a gasp and then a moment of silence as Bilbo scrambled to his feet and everyone stared at the two who stared at each other with wide eyes. It was obvious what had happened, the two of them had felt the Reunion, but what was less obvious was what was going to happen next.

Bofur had very obviously been desperately searching for his soul mate for some time now. He continually searched out people to touch no matter where they were. He had even offered his hand to several of the elves despite the dwarves' clear dislike of them. The elves had been kind enough to offer their hands even though they knew that he wasn't one of theirs since he had no previous memory of them. Apparently, a person regaining their memory of their past lives was a well kept secret for the elves and only they and their soul mates ever knew. Bilbo, of course, was one of the very rare exceptions.

Nori, on the other hand, had been just as equally avoiding touching anyone. If anyone came anywhere near touching him, he was quick to slip out of their grasp. Bofur had tried to touch him some time ago, but no matter how many times he tried, Nori always escaped him. Whenever this happened, Bofur always seemed to have even more of a dejected look then when he touched anyone else and found that they weren't his soul mate. Perhaps they should have figured it out from that, but it hadn't even crossed their minds. That is, until Bilbo knocked Bofur into Nori and the two finally touched.

Bofur quickly stood and apologized to Nori for falling on him the moment that he got his bearings back together. He might have also walked off to be farthest from Nori as possible, to hopefully avoid the Rejection, but before he could Nori was up and grabbing his hand to pull him in the direction that they were heading. No one said anything as they moved on, but Nori never let go of Bofur's hand and Bofur never lost the very obvious grin on his face.

There was no more talk of soul mates until they stopped for the night and Nori pulled Bofur off to somewhere in the woods. The rest of the dwarves start yelling after them and making obscene jokes that Bilbo, as a hobbit, thought were completely unnecessary. Of course, he didn't have much time to dwell on these things when someone came up to him with a serious look on their face, which was very unnatural for Kili.

"Can I help you with something Kili?" Bilbo asked cautiously. It was very rare that Kili did anything without Fili, but when he did Bilbo knew it had to be very serious.

"I was just wondering if you could tell me about soul mates," Kili mumbled so low that Bilbo had to ask him to repeat it before he understood the question.

"Why do you want to know?" Bilbo asked. Really, Kili was already old enough that someone should have already told him about it.

"Every time I ask the others, they always say that I don't have to worry about it," Kili said as he slumped down next to Bilbo, "but I don't understand why they say that. I feel the Separation just like anyone else."

"You do?" Bilbo's eyes widened. He was honestly not expecting that since he knew that Fili was Kili's soul mate. Something must have happened while he was away.

"Of course I do," Kili sighed. "Why does everyone think that I don't? It doesn't fell like the others say it does, though. They say it just feels like you're empty but it really hurts."

"Oh Kili," Bilbo shook his head sadly. Oh he was going to give Fili a piece of his mind when he was done with this talk. "That's not the Separation you're feeling."

"It's not?" Kili's eyes widened.

"You must promise to listen to everything that I say before you decide any judgments," Bilbo said seriously and Kili nodded almost immediately. "What you're feeling is a type of Rejection."

"Rejection?" Kili asked. "Then my soul mate doesn't want me."

"No," Bilbo shook his head. "You said you would listen to everything. Now hush up and let me finish." Kili nodded once more. "The type of Rejection that you're feeling is called Unconscious Rejection. It's very rare and usually it's brought about by two soul mates meeting when one or both of them are very young. The older of the two thinks that the younger is too young and that it would be best for the older to tell the younger about their bond. After some time of avoiding the subject, the older unconsciously rejects the younger in an attempt to keep their bond a secret."

"But I'm old enough now." Kili pointed out. "Why hasn't my soul mate some forward yet?"

"Perhaps he's scared of what you'll think," Bilbo suggested knowing full well that was probably the reason. "There are more reasons than just age to keep a bond a secret."

"What reasons?" Kili asked eagerly.

"I'm sure you'll find out when your soul mate reveals himself to you," Bilbo replied as he stood. He could see Kili giving him a weird look out of the corner of his eye, but he didn't really want to bother with it right now. He had a bone to pick with a certain nephew.

"What did you and my brother talk about?" Fili asked, making Bilbo jump. He had been wanting to speak to Fili, but he wasn't expecting the other to come to him instead of the other way around. Oh well, Bilbo could still say what he needed.

"We were talking about soul mates," Bilbo replied nonchalantly.

"Why?" Fili asked, glancing over Bilbo's shoulder at his brother.

"He feels the Rejection keenly," Bilbo said as he shook his head sadly. It was an act, but he had to say it was very good when Fili's wide eyes snapped back to him.

"He hasn't been Rejected," he said desperately.

"Not consciously," Bilbo replied with a stern look, "but you didn't really think that keeping your bond a secret as long as you have wouldn't hurt him did you?" Maybe he was taking this a little too far, revealing a little too much of his knowledge, but he only cared about the happiness of his nephews and he would do whatever it takes to make sure that happened.

Fili looked over Bilbo's shoulder once more and then back at him. "He's going to hate me," he mumbled with a dejected look on his face.

"Your brother could never hate you," Bilbo replied sternly. "He will love you no matter what. I have explained to him that what he is feeling was an Unconscious Rejection and he understands that it was never your intention to do so, but it's your job to reveal yourself before this gets out of hand. He's avoided it thus far, but there is still a chance that he will fall into the Sickness even with this weak form of Rejection." Especially when he had fallen into it before they had even met, but Bilbo wouldn't mention that bit of knowledge.

Just the thought of Kili possibly falling into Sickness seemed to strengthen Fili's resolve and he marched right past Bilbo, over to Kili, and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. Bilbo had to hold back a snigger when he noticed how unpracticed the two of them were, Fili even crashed his nose into Kili's, but he didn't even try to hold back the satisfied smirk when Kili reached up and curled his arms around his brother as the both of them closed their eyes. The rest of the dwarves started up their rude comments once again, but Bilbo stood to the side wondering if Fili would start to act like he did the first time he felt the Reunion.

* * *

><p><em>Dis took them immediately to where the rest of the royals were making camp for the night after Fili had his Reunion with Kili. She was eager to introduce her new son to them since she had been in the healer's cart when he was born and the others had yet to meet him, but she was equally as eager to show them that Fili had survived and to tell them about their bond. Bilbo said nothing and stayed away from them. He didn't want to interrupt her banter with her little son who was only letting her carry Kili because there was honestly no way for him to do it himself. More so, though, he didn't know if he would be welcome. Dis had yet to even acknowledge him. That could be because she was so distracted by her children, but Bilbo was haunted by another thought.<em>

_Bilbo did not show himself much in company. Or rather, he did not show off that he was one of the princes of Erebor's husband. He preferred to be equal with the people so he had often been confused as a wealthy commoner even before his injuries, but now that his injuries obscured him so much, no one seemed to recognize him at all. Not even the guards who were meant to protect the royals. Most of them actually tended to stay away from him and he often caught some of the dwarves flinching and grimacing when they saw him. Bilbo didn't want to see the same reaction from his family. From Thorin. _

_He knew he was going to have to speak to them eventually, but he wanted to at least witness this happy moment before he ruined it all by revealing himself._

_The moment Thorin saw Dis return with both her nephews, he was upon the three of them in an instant. First he looked at Fili with a close eye to make absolutely certain that the boy was uninjured, which Bilbo might have taken offense to if it hadn't taken them so long to rejoin with Thorin making them feel that he might be dead, then he turned his eye to Dis to make sure that she didn't have any complications with her pregnancy, and finally he looked upon the new arrival with such loving eyes. Dis handed Kili over to Thorin to hold and Fili almost immediately swapped places from clinging to his mother to clinging to Thorin. _

"_Can I hold him Uncle Thorin?" Fili asked. "Mama said that I could hold him when we stopped to make camp."_

"_At least let your uncle meet the boy before you get too overprotective of him," Dis said calmly. "You can hold him in a moment."_

"_He's _my _soul mate," Fili pouted, crossing his arms and sinking to the floor so that he could also cross his legs. _

"_How do you know this?" Thorin asked, though Bilbo could tell that he didn't doubt the little one since he immediately set about putting Fili in a proper position to hold his younger brother._

"_Uncle Haran told me," Fili said distractedly as Kili was placed in his lap and immediately started giggling._

_Bilbo tensed when he heard his dwarven name spoken. He wasn't ready to reveal himself yet, but he knew that he had to by the way that Thorin was looking around for him. It wasn't frantic or desperate, but it was certainly as close as a prince like Thorin could get._

_With one long calming breath, Bilbo stepped forward and into the light where Thorin could see him. The moment Thorin's eyes landed on him, they widened and Bilbo wanted nothing more than to disappear back into the shadows and never come out again, but before he could Thorin was on him._

"_You were hurt," Thorin said, a hand hovering just away from touching the wounds on his face so that he wouldn't agitate them. Bilbo wanted to lean into that hand, but he also didn't want Thorin to have to touch the still healing scars so he forced himself not to. It didn't matter either way because a moment later that hand lowered so that the arm connected to it could wrap around his waist while its twin pressed against his back to pull him into a hug. "You foolish dwarf," Thorin whispered in his ear. "You should have called me. I would have found you no matter what got in my way. Not even the dragon could keep me from finding you."_

_Bilbo hadn't realized until that moment that he had been forcing himself to be strong for Fili's sake, but that he had really needed to break ever since the dragon attacked. He wasn't sleepy, he was exhausted, he was in pain, he was frightened, and, most of all, he missed Thorin and felt so alone without him. Bilbo allowed himself to collapse into Thorin's embrace as he buried his head in Thorin's shoulder and cried out all the tears he had been holding back._

_Thorin wasted no time in getting the two of them to a different, more private area before laying down with Bilbo on top of him and demanding that he get some sleep with the promise that they would talk about everything that happened in the morning._

* * *

><p><em>The next morning they got up bright and early, as they had every other morning, to pack up the equipment and move on. The children were the only ones who hadn't yet woken and Fili lay holding Kili so close to him that Bilbo didn't want to be the one to wake them and ruin the cute moment. He didn't have to because Dis was the one to do it, but even if he wanted to Thorin wouldn't have let him. <em>

_Thorin had other princely duties to attend to, but he didn't want Bilbo out of his sight, or touch for that matter, for a single moment. Thorin had done this before, Bilbo remembered, when he had suffered from the same sickness that Kili had and any other time that he had been remotely injured. _

_He could also see Fili doing the same thing next to his mother. He was neither big enough nor strong enough to carry his younger brother around, but he made sure that Kili was always in his sights or, when his mother allowed them to sit and rest in one of the carts, on his lap. He was glad that the two of them would have each other from that day on._

* * *

><p>"What did you say to my nephew?" Thorin's gruff voice asked from beside him.<p>

"It was nothing special," Bilbo shook his head. "I just mentioned how much Rejection hurt."

"And you know this because?" Thorin raised a brow. Bilbo was actually surprised that the other was still talking to him since this was the most that Thorin had ever said to him in one night. He had thought that Thorin would be satisfied with his answer and would move back to sit with the others. He was probably only talking to him because of the service he did for his nephews, though, so Bilbo resolved to think nothing more about it.

"I've felt it before," Bilbo replied.

"And now you don't?"

"And now I don't?"

"Why have you left your home if your soul mate is there?"

"I don't have a soul mate anymore," Bilbo shook his head. Luckily, Thorin decided that he didn't want to know anything more because as soon as those words had left Bilbo's mouth, Thorin was turning to leave. Bilbo frowned. Maybe he shouldn't have mentioned that because now Thorin would never think of him as a potential soul mate again. At least that wouldn't interfere with their quest.


	14. Chapter 14

A few nights later, Bilbo lay in his bed dreaming about Erebor. It was so lovely that he just couldn't get enough of it. He couldn't wait until they were able to take it back from the calamity known as Smaug.

Most of the dreams that Bilbo was able to have about Erebor, which were few and far between his nightmares about the dragon and other such evils, were simply memories of when he was younger or after Thorin had accepted him, but this one was very different. In his dream, he was stepping into Erebor for the very first time as a Hobbit after the dragon had been defeated and the dwarves finally got their home back. He dreamt that the dwarves were welcoming him in and that Thorin was wrapping his arms around him. It was amazing and Bilbo thought that he might be content to stay in this dream forever if he could just stay wrapped in Thorin's arms.

Fili and Kili, who stood off to Thorin's side, even started calling him Uncle again. Except it didn't seem like it was part of the dream when Kili's voice broke through all the noise. Especially not when everything started to shake around him and Bilbo realized that someone was actually trying to wake him up.

"Uncle Haran," or not because there was no way that Kili was calling him by his dwarven name in the waking world. Oh well, at least, since this was still just a dream, Bilbo didn't have to hold back when speaking with his beloved nephews.

"Yes Kili?" Bilbo asked, only opening one eye large enough that he could see his youngest nephew. How strange that Kili looked exactly like he did during the journey despite the fact that this was a dream.

"I had a nightmare," Kili mumbled just loud enough that Bilbo could hear it, but low enough that no one else would be able to.

"Was it a bad one?" Bilbo asked seriously despite his eye drooping closed once more from exhaustion. He had learned a long time ago that he shouldn't ask Kili to try to explain his dreams when he found out that Kili wasn't always the one with the nightmares. Sometimes it would be Fili that would have the nightmares, but he was too stubborn of a dwarf and a big brother to show any weaknesses. Fili, of course, didn't actually know that Kili was going to sleep in one of their elders' beds even when it was Fili with the nightmares because Kili was actually very perceptive and could tell things like that without anyone saying anything. Especially when pertaining to his brother.

"No," Kili shook his head, "but can…" there was a short pause and Bilbo could hear a rustle of clothing as Kili looked over at his brother before starting again. "Can we sleep with you anyway?"

"Hmm," Bilbo hummed as he pulled up the covers, allowing both of his nephews to slip in next to him. They were so much bigger than they should have been in his dreams, but Bilbo didn't mind much. Instead he buried into Kili's chest while Fili wrapped an arm around both of them. It was just like when they were young.

* * *

><p>"<em>Uncle Haran?" Kili whispered quietly as he shook Bilbo's shoulder so that he wouldn't wake Thorin up as well. Ever since Dis husband, Vili, had died they all began to live in the same home in an attempt to cut costs and so that Bilbo could have an easier job of taking care of the little ones while Thorin and Dis were out hunting. <em>

"_What is it little one?" Bilbo cracked an eye open to see the young Kili staring at him with the biggest most innocent looking eyes that only Kili could pull off. "Did you have a nightmare?"_

"_No," Kili shook his head immediately, "but can we sleep with you anyway."_

_Bilbo raised an eyebrow at the two brothers. This was the first time that the two of them had sought Bilbo's bed for any reason other than a nightmare, the two brothers were already very independent, and they certainly had never come to him when they had the chance to go to their mother who was in the next room over. Still, he lifted the blankets and was happy to see both boys' smiles brighten as they crawled into his bed. _

_Kili immediately snuggled as close to Bilbo as he could get with Thorin's arm in his way and Fili wrapped his own arms around Kili in a way that made sure he was still touching Bilbo. Bilbo wrapped his own arms around both of them as well. He wasn't going to be able to do that for much longer. The two of them were getting so big._

_Just as Bilbo was starting to drift off again, Kili spoke up once more. "Uncle Haran?"_

"_Yes Kili," Bilbo forced a yawn back so he wouldn't discourage the younger from speaking his mind. Not that Kili often got discouraged in that respect, but it always seemed to be easiest to discourage him when he was trying to be serious. _

"_Uncle Thorin says that you and him are going to go on a hunting trip with Great Grandpa Thror," Kili said. There was something more that he wanted to say, but it wasn't coming out so Bilbo chose to respond then instead of waiting for the little one to lose his nerve. _

"_That's right," he nodded. "Your mother will be staying behind this time." Hopefully that would lessen any of the young dwarves worries. _

"_But you never go on hunting trips," Kili pointed out._

"_I thought I would like to go on one this time," Bilbo tried to reassure. It was a lie of course, but there was no way that he was going to be let behind while Thorin marches with an army of dwarves to Moria. He would never forgive himself if he wasn't there and Thorin somehow died. _

_There was a long moment of silence until Kili spoke up again. "Uncle Haran?" Bilbo hummed in encouragement so Kili continued his words. "Are you really going on a hunting trip?"_

_Bilbo started at that question. Kili had always been the most perceptive dwarf that Bilbo ever knew. He wasn't all that smart, he left that sort of the thing to his older brother, but when it came to piecing together different clues about people, Kili was always the one that Bilbo went to even at a younger age. He hadn't been expecting Kili to figure this out as well, though. _

"_We will be hunting," Bilbo shirked the truth. They would be hunting, just not for meat that they could eat. _

"_Will you promise to come back?" Kili begged._

_Kili's wide eyes almost made Bilbo comply, but he never made promises that he wasn't sure he could keep. This one was no exception, though, and he wouldn't let little dwarflings change his mind no matter how big their eyes got. Instead he said. "I will do my best to return."_

"_That's not a promise," Fili spoke up for the first time. _

"_I promise that I will do my best to return." Both boys frowned, but they knew that he wouldn't give them anything better._

"_We love you Uncle Haran," Kili whispered as the two boys snuggled just a tiny bit closer to him. "We'll miss you."_

_Bilbo tightened his grip on the dwarflings as he felt tears prickle in his eyes. He didn't let them fall, though. He wouldn't let Kili and Fili lose hope in him by showing them his tears._

* * *

><p><em>The next morning everyone woke up early and Bilbo and Thorin readied themselves to go. Kili was crying the whole time, which wasn't a usual reaction for him and it seemed to perplex both Thorin and Dis very much as they thought that the young ones believed their story that they were just going on a hunting trip. When they were leaving, even Fili's eyes filled with tears as he clung to his little brother. <em>

_Bilbo made sure to wave at the two boys until he was far enough that he couldn't see them anymore. Then he turned back to Thorin and buried his head in his shoulder. _

"_What's the matter?" Thorin asked even as he immediately wrapped a comforting arm around Bilbo's shoulder._

"_Kili is much too perceptive for their own good," Bilbo whispered._

"_What are you talking about?" Thorin asked._

"_They know that we aren't going on a hunting trip," Bilbo replied. "They wanted me to promise that I would return, but I couldn't."_

"_Don't worry love," Thorin soothed, stroking Bilbo's long hair, "I'll make sure that both of us return." Bilbo smiled, but he couldn't believe Thorin's words. Especially since he was perfectly ready to throw himself in front of Thorin to save his life as soon as it was necessary._

* * *

><p>Bilbo woke feeling warmer than he had ever since he left his home in the Shire and he really just wanted to snuggle the source of the heat for the rest of the day. He might have tried it, too, if he didn't realize that the source was actually breathing. He opened his eyes slowly to find that his source of heat was Kili and that Fili was wrapped around him. Suddenly, the memory of Kili waking him up with his dwarven name came back to him and Bilbo froze. Kili had called him Haran. Perhaps it had been a mistake on Kili's part, but Bilbo highly doubted it. Kili may seem like he didn't know what he was talking about more often than not, but he was the type that only spoke the truth no matter how crude it was.<p>

"Uncle Haran?" Kili muttered as he was woken but Bilbo's sudden stillness.

"Why do you call me that?" Bilbo asked, hoping that he was wrong and it was just Kili's sleep muddled mind that was making him think of the past.

"You hum the prayer sometimes," Kili muttered under his breath so that they were the only ones who could hear. "No one else has noticed. I only figured it out because you knew about me and Fili before I did even though you had only just met us."

"You also tend to scold us just like Uncle Haran did," Fili said.

Bilbo sighed. If anyone would be able to figure it out, it would be those two. "You can't tell anyone about this," Bilbo said sternly.

"Not even Uncle Thorin?" Fili asked.

"Especially not Thorin," Bilbo shook his head.

"Why not?" Kili asked.

"I am not your Uncle Haran." Kili looked like he wanted to interrupt, but Bilbo hurried on before he could. "I have his memories, but I'm not really him. I don't want your uncle to start comparing us. I would never be able to live up to those standards." No matter how hard he tried.

"Will you tell them when we're done with the quest?" Kili asked. "I'm sure Uncle will be happy to have his soul mate again."

"We'll see," Bilbo replied before he ended the conversation by getting up. His missed the embrace almost immediately, but he couldn't allow his nephews to dig too far. His emotions wouldn't be able to handle that.


	15. Chapter 15

It didn't take long for Bilbo to reconcile with his two nephews. He hadn't even been very angry with them in the first place, but he was afraid that they would continue to push him into telling the others about his past identity. His desire to be with him quickly won over that fear, though, and he found that he actually enjoyed being with someone who knew his secret; especially after they both promised that they would not push him often. He did not miss their neglect to promise not to bring it up at all, but he wouldn't push them. If there were anyone who knew the art of making open-ended promises, it would be him. The brothers may have even learned it from him.

Being with those two made the travel so much better. That is, until the group were scaling a mountain in a rainstorm. Nothing could brighten that day. In fact, it just kept getting worse. Honestly, it was bad enough that he was forced to separate with the two brothers when they went into single file lines, but then he kept slipping on the narrow rocks and almost fell more than once. Fortunately the dwarves had thought to place him right before Dwalin who always caught him almost immediately when his rather large feet slipped. Unfortunately, Bilbo was only now remembering that he had a slight fear of heights that always seemed to get worst in situations like this.

Then this only had to get worse when, after Bilbo had slipped yet again, he heard Dwalin yell to look out and a boulder crashed against the rocks above his head only to break to pieces and rain down upon them. They were stuck in a thunder battle. And it continued to get worst when Bilbo heard Fili, who was in front of Bofur who was before him, calling out to Kili as a sense of shifting came over him. Bilbo couldn't see his two nephews from the position he was in, but he could certainly tell that they were being separated by the desperation in Fili's voice.

Bilbo couldn't think anymore after that. The only thing in his head was to hold on and not look down even as he heard the dwarves yelling around him.

It was only when Bilbo found himself sailing towards a rock that was jutting out towards him that he came to his senses. If he waited for the rocks to crash together, he would be crushed. The only thing he could do was jump early and hope he makes it.

He didn't.

Bilbo felt his stomach crash against the ledge of the rock and, before he could get a proper hold on the water-slicked rock, he was slipping until only his fingers remained clutching to the edge. He was lucky that the stone giant hadn't managed to crush him even with his risky jump, but right now he actually thought that might have been preferable to falling to his death.

Funnily enough, the only thing that Bilbo could think about even as he struggled to find his footing was when this had happened before.

* * *

><p><em>Bilbo had always been a strange dwarf, even before he grew into himself and was still trying to make friends with the other dwarflings. Sometimes, when the adults happened to be around and were keeping a careful eye on them, the dwarflings were nice enough to play with him, but other times they were actually quite cruel. Perhaps that should have been Bilbo's first clew when they asked him to play with him and there were no adults around. Bilbo was too trusting, though, and much too happy that he might actually be making friends to think about it anymore. <em>

_He followed the young dwarves, with absolutely no idea where they were going, deep into the mountain until they came across one of the mines that had been closed down for safety reasons. Some of the rocks were considered too unstable to safely bare the weight of the dwarves and Bilbo immediately grew concerned. "We aren't supposed to be here," he pointed out nervously._

"_You're such a baby," the other dwarflings scowled. "Do you want to play with us or not?"_

"_I do," Bilbo nodded, but not nearly as eagerly as he had before. _

"_Good," they smirked. "Come here."_

_Bilbo did so slowly as they were very near to the edge and he was right to be cautious. The moment he was near enough to them, the dwarflings pushed him and he found himself slipping right off the edge with a cry of alarm. He was just barely able to catch himself before he went plummeting to his death. _

"_Aw, did you fall?" the dwarflings taunted. "Why don't you pull yourself back up?"_

_Bilbo was much stronger than he looked, though, and quickly forced his arms to pull himself back up. He would prove himself to these dwarves and maybe then they would like him. He didn't realize, however, that they could be so cruel. The moment he was almost able to get back on the edge, one of the larger dwarflings pushed him back down. _

_This happened several times and by the end Bilbo was sobbing frantically and crying out for help. His arms were already too exhausted to pull him up any longer and his fingers were quickly losing their hold. Throughout it all, the dwarflings never stopped taunting him and laughing at him. He had known that the other dwarves were jealous of his family for being so close to the royal family, but he had never thought that they would descend to something so malicious to get back at him. He had never even met any of the royals. It was only his father that had that honor._

"_What the hell are you doing here?" someone called from the hallway._

"_Nothing!" the dwarflings called. Bilbo couldn't see what was happening but he would know his big brother's voice anywhere._

"_Taran help me!" he cried, but it was too late. Bilbo slipped and barely caught himself again, but he was too far down for Taran to reach him then._

"_Haran?!" Taran's frantic face appeared over the ledge to see him hanging there before he turned back to the other dwarflings. "Go and get help now! And Mahal help you if he should die and I get my hands on you." Then he turned back to Bilbo and forced his face to calm. He leaned over as far as he could without risking himself, but he was still just barely too far away. "I need you to grab my hand little brother."_

"_I can't!" Bilbo cried out. He was too weak and he was sure that if he should let go, even with one hand, he would fall to his doom. _

"_Yes you can Haran," Taran said soothingly. "I'll catch you. You just have to reach for me."_

"_No you won't!" Bilbo sobbed._

"_I am not losing you!" Taran growled, suddenly letting his own frantic emotions show through. "Either you reach for me or I'm going to follow you down."_

_Bilbo did _not _want that to happen. What if Taran fell down with him? With one long breath to try to calm his nerves, Bilbo found a foothold and put the last of his strength into a burst that sent him up towards his brother. Taran caught his hand without a moment to loose and yanked him up and into his arms._

"_I'm so glad you're okay," Taran said as he soothingly stroked Haran's hair to try to calm him. Bilbo just clutched his brother's shirt tightly and cried his eyes out._

"_What in the world is going on?" an adult was standing before them with his arms crossed over his chest. The dwarflings that had pushed Bilbo were standing nervously behind him and Bilbo burrowed into his brother's chest so as to avoid them._

"_Haran can you tell me what happened?" Taran asked. "Why were you in this mine when you knew it was closed off."_

"_They asked me to play with them," Bilbo pointed to the dwarflings. "I didn't want to come here, but they said it would be fun. Then they pushed me-" Bilbo broke off to sob for a moment, "and-and they kept pushing me every time I tried to get back up!" Bilbo ended in a wail and his brother's hold on him tightened. _

"_That's not true!" the dwarflings tried to protest. "He slipped on his own-"_

"_Silence!" the dwarf growled. "Taran, you take your brother to the healers and make sure he isn't too badly injured. I will deal with these ones."_

* * *

><p>Bilbo came back to himself when he slipped just as Ori and Bofur dove forward to try to save him. He was able to catch another grip with one hand before he plummeted, but it was small and he didn't think he'd be able to hold on for much longer. What was worse was that, this time, there were no footholds for him to push himself up and grab that hands that dangled just above his reach, as though taunting him with their safety. If only he still had the strength that Haran had possessed, he would have been able to pull himself up long before now.<p>

At that moment, Bilbo honestly expected that he would just fall to his death.

He was not, however, expecting someone, especially Thorin, to throw himself over the edge after him only to pull him up to those who were reaching for him. Bilbo didn't even have time to feel relieved, though as Thorin himself slipped. It made his heart stop in fear that he would be the reason for his soul mate's death, but Dwalin was there and he caught him, pulling him up to safety as well. Only then did Bilbo let himself feel his relief. He even kind of felt like crying as he had just relived the very reason for his fear of heights in more ways than one.

If Thorin hadn't been there, he would certainly have died.

"I thought we lost our burglar," Dwalin said.

Bilbo thought that the king's guard should be much more concerned about almost losing the king, but then he remembered that Dwalin had been right beside him and probably saw him jump. He also probably saw him slip before the stone giant's leg crashed into the wall. Dwalin had probably thought him lost even before they found him hanging off the edge.

"He's been lost ever since he left home." Bilbo felt a pang in his chest. It wasn't quite as bad as the Rejection had been, but the words of his love still hurt him very deeply. They strengthened his resolve not to tell Thorin about his past life during the trip, but they also made him doubt that he would ever tell Thorin the truth at all. "He should never have come. He has no place amongst us."


	16. Chapter 16

"_He's been lost ever since he left home," _Thorin had said. _"He has no place amongst us." _He was right. Bilbo didn't belong with these dwarves. He wasn't Haran and Elrond was right: there was no way he could ever be that dwarf.

"_He has no place amongst us," _Thorin said.

"_He has no place amongst us."_

Thorin was right. He should never have come. The only thing that he was doing was getting in everyone's way. The best thing he could do now would be to just get out of their way.

If he had been Haran, he would have been able to stay and actually do something worthwhile. As a hobbit, he couldn't do that.

Bilbo waited until everyone was asleep, then, with a look around just to make sure, he got up and packed his stuff. He made sure to be as silent as possible, which was very quiet for a hobbit. He didn't know what he would do if his nephews found out that he was leaving and tried to stop him. He knew that he wouldn't be able to deny their pleading to get him to stay and he just couldn't allow that to happen.

Once packed, he quietly crept towards the front of the cave. He had to be extra cautious at this point, however, because his big feet were hard to navigate through the dwarves that were closely packed together in an attempt to earn heat. He was so intent on making sure that he didn't step on any of the dwarves that he didn't even notice Bofur until it was too late.

"Where do you think you're going?" Bofur asked silently, not wanting to wake Nori, who was sleeping nearby, up.

Bilbo froze for a second. He had really been hoping that no one would catch him. At least it wasn't his nephews. "Back to Rivendell," he said as he turned back to the other.

Bofur quickly stood up, stepping quietly closer to Bilbo and said words that made him want to stay more than anything, but Bilbo couldn't do it. Thorin didn't want him here and he was just in the way. "You're one of us," Bofur tried.

"I'm not, though, am I?" Not anymore. Not now that he wasn't Bilbo. "Thorin said I should never have come and he was right." Bilbo didn't have any business trying to be a dwarf. He had no business trying to do what Haran would have done. "I'm not a Took," or a dwarf, "I'm a Baggins. I don't know what I was thinking. I should never have run out my door."

"You're home-sick. I understand."

"No! You don't. You don't understand." Dwarves could never understand how Bilbo felt right now. "None of you do. You're dwarves. You're used to this life. To living on the road. Never settling in one place. Not belonging anywhere." Dwarves didn't belong anywhere because they belonged with people. They didn't need homes settled in certain places because they had their homes with their families that travelled with them.

* * *

><p>"<em>I swear to you that we will find a home worthy of you," Thorin suddenly said as they travelled through the plains. They had recently been kicked out of yet another human village that didn't have enough room for an entire kingdom of dwarves and were starting a march towards anywhere to stay once more. At least this one had been kinder about it, but there were still several nasty words spoken to them, Bilbo in particular.<em>

"_What are you talking about?" Bilbo asked concernedly. Thorin had been acting strangely ever since they had been reunited, but he had never once made a promise like that. _

"_I will find you a home. A place that you will belong so that you won't be forced to march like this. So that none of us will be forced to travel like this. We'll have to make Dis family comfortable as well. Vili will take care of them, I'm sure, but I just want you all to be happy."_

"_That's enough of that," Bilbo said firmly. "While I agree that it would be nice for Fili and Kili to have a place to grow up in, I have no need for one and neither does Dis or Vili. At least not to make them feel like they have a home."_

"_What are you talking about?" Thorin didn't understand. Bilbo wasn't surprised; Thorin always seemed to have a bit of trouble understanding sentimental things like that. Perhaps that's why Bilbo was his soul mate, in order to balance him out with too much emotion._

"_We are travelling with our homes," Bilbo continued, hoping to explain it to Thorin, but having trouble thinking of the perfect words for it. _

"_I don't understand," Thorin shook his head. At least the two of them were used to this sort of communication since it happened more than once. Usually it was because Bilbo had trouble explaining himself when Thorin didn't understand, but sometimes it was the other way around. _

_Bilbo had to think for a moment in order to think of a good explanation. "If you had a permanent place to stay, but you were the only one who was allowed to stay there, would you call it home?" Thorin gave him a look and Bilbo knew that he still wasn't making any sense so he had to elaborate. "Would you stay in that place or would you come with me to wherever I went?"_

"_I would follow you anywhere," Thorin said immediately. That was one answer that he could always give. He loved Haran. Nothing would change that. _

"_So if I wanted to travel the world and never settle down, would you care at all about that place that you could have stayed in?"_

"_No."_

"_It's because that place isn't really your home. Your home is with those that you love and that love you in return. We need places to stay, of course, but we have no need to search for our home because they are travelling with us."_

_Thorin nodded and his black mood quickly lifted. He may not have been the best at understanding emotions, but that didn't mean he didn't ever get them. Sometimes it was just harder when he was in one of his darker moods. Besides, carrying a home with you was a rather crazy notion if you were more of a physical being like Thorin was._

* * *

><p>"<em>Uncle Haran," Fili came up to him, pulling Dis behind so he wouldn't be separated from his brother whom she was holding, when they had settled down for the night. <em>

"_Why did the humans say that we should go back to where we belong?" Fili asked._

_Bilbo looked to the boy's mother, but the look on her face told him that whatever explanation she had given wasn't good enough for her son. She was a very emotional dwarf, just like he was, but they said things in different ways. Sometimes Fili understood Dis better and sometimes he understood Bilbo better. At first, Bilbo had thought that this might be a bad thing since he didn't want to seem like he was trying to parent Dis's children, but both her and her husband were totally fine with Bilbo and Thorin acting like second parents to the little one. _

_Bilbo looked back to Fili, but before answering, he wanted to know. "Who said that to you?"_

"_Some of the human children," Fili shrugged, seemingly unaffected, but Bilbo knew the worst must have hurt just a little if he was asking about them. _

_Bilbo sighed. How cruel could children be? "The humans don't understand us," Bilbo said. "It has been a long time since any of them have had to leave their village and travel for such long distances like we have."_

"_That's what ma said," Fili nodded. "She also said that they were just being cruel."_

"_That's right," Bilbo nodded, remembering his own experiences with bullying children. "They were being cruel."_

"_But I don't understand why they told us to go back to where we belong."_

"_What don't you understand about it?" Dis cut in sweetly. She was hoping that Bilbo would be able to clear this up, but it seemed to her like this was going to have to be a joint effort. "They say that because we don't belong with them. They're telling us to go back to the mountains." _

"_But isn't that what we're doing?" Fili asked. _

_Suddenly, Bilbo realized that Thorin wasn't the only one who thought they were searching for homes instead of places to live. Did all of the dwarves think like that? He had always been a bit different from the rest of the dwarves, but surely he wasn't the only one who thought that they were travelling with their homes. _

"_We are heading towards the mountains," Dis agreed, "but they aren't really our mountains. They aren't where we belong."_

"_Because we belong with out people," Bilbo continued, making Dis look up at him in confusion. "The humans haven't had to leave their villages in such a long time so they've forgotten what it means to belong somewhere. You don't belong in a place simply because that's where your ancestors may or may not have made their homes. You belong somewhere because that is where your family is. You belong with your family. The reason the humans say for us to go back to where we belong, is because they don't remember that simple fact."_

"_Oh," Fili nodded, looking much too old than he really should at his age. "I feel sorry for them then."_

"_There's no need," Bilbo shook his head. "They will stay with their families, where they belong, and you will stay with yours. There is no reason for you to feel sorry for them."_

_Fili nodded before running off, dragging his mother behind him only for her to return some time later having given Kili to Vili to carry around for a while._

"_Do you really believe what you told Fili?" she asked._

"_Of course," Bilbo nodded. "It would have been nice to be able to stay in Erebor and I would very much like to claim our homeland in the future, but I do not think that being displaced from it makes it so that we don't belong anywhere."_

"_You amaze me Haran," Dis shook her head with a smile. "You are the only dwarf that I've ever heard talk like that."_

"_Maybe I was never meant to be a dwarf," Bilbo smiled jokingly._

"_Don't say that," Dis gasped. "Thorin would be horrible to deal with if you weren't around to deal with him."_

"_I suppose you're right," Bilbo laughed. Besides, if he weren't a dwarf, would he still be able to belong with them?_

* * *

><p>Bilbo didn't have that anymore. He only had his home back in the Shire to look forward to. He wasn't a dwarf anymore.<p>

Bilbo had meant what he said, but he didn't realize just how cruel it sounded, especially from someone who wasn't supposed to understand dwarves as well as he did, until Bofur's face took on a crestfallen look. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't-" He didn't mean it like the way it sounded, but he just couldn't get the right words out. How could he take back such cruel words when he was readying to abandon the dwarves anyway?

Bofur didn't even wait for him to work out the words. He simply agreed with Bilbo, with that same sad look, and wished him well on his journey.

Bilbo wanted to say more, to apologize for what he said or for leaving, but the words still wouldn't come so he simply turned, ready to take his leave and never see any of his dwarves ever again, but then Bofur called him back by pointing out the glow at his belt. It took a moment for the realization that his sword, which only glowed when orcs or goblins are nearby, was glowing rather brightly, and by the time it did, it was already too late. He heard Thorin call out to the other dwarves to get up, but it was all lost to him as he found himself and the dwarves careening down a crazy slide of a trap.


End file.
